Columnists

Squirrel Spotting: Why Some Salespeople Avoid Asking for the Sale

ColumnistsMar 10, 2020

Squirrel Spotting: Why Some Salespeople Avoid Asking for the Sale

It might be because they have a fear of rejection, and Peter Smith might have a solution for you.

peter-smith.jpg
Peter Smith is president of Memoire and Hearts On Fire. He is author of two books, “Hiring Squirrels,” and “Sell Something.” Connect with Smith on LinkedIn or at dublinsmith@yahoo.com.
One of the confounding mysteries of sales is how so many salespeople can provide excellent customer service and great product information but be wholly ineffective when it comes to closing sales.

We can coach and cajole.

We can incent and inspire and yet, no matter what we do to help the situation, some salespeople demonstrate a remarkable capacity to do everything except, well, ask for the sale.

If you find yourself sounding like a broken record (you know, those things we listened to before tapes, CDs and streaming) in trying to get otherwise-solid salespeople to close sales, there might be a good explanation in findings from neuroscience.

When the brains of people with low resilience were monitored under fMRI machines (functional magnetic resonance imaging, which kind of acts like a GPS for your brain, showing areas that light up with certain stimulants and triggers), researchers found that rejection has a similar effect on their brains as being physically assaulted.

Think about that for a moment—rejection can have the same effect as someone smacking you upside your head.

Given that, it is hardly surprisingly that people with low resilience will seek ways to psychologically protect themselves to avoid situations that invite rejection on an ongoing basis, like sales for instance.

It is confounding to see salespeople with so many good qualities—hard-working, honest, knowledgeable, easy to work with, otherwise good with customers—who struggle to close sales.

These are the very salespeople who find friendly hiding places in the store.

That could manifest as any kind of busy work that keeps them from the unpleasant task of having to ask for a commitment from customers and then face the inevitability of rejection, rejection that they take very personally. Rejection that chips away at their confidence and self-esteem.

Jia Jiang, an MBA student at Duke University, wrote a brilliant and funny book a few years ago called “Rejection Proof.”

In the book, the author resolved to overcome his own fear of rejection by undertaking a series of crazy requests over 100 days to condition himself to handle rejection better. 

Among his more unusual requests:
-- Approaching a random security guard and asking to borrow $100; 
-- Asking a manager at Krispy Kreme to make a special Olympic Rings donut; 
-- Requesting a refill (of the burger) at Five Guys; 
-- Asking to make the safety announcement on a Southwest Airlines flight; and 
-- Asking for a haircut at PetSmart.

Jiang’s book is very funny, sometimes even hilarious, but it really speaks to a serious topic that is borderline debilitating to many people, including a large percentage of salespeople—the fear of rejection. 

He wrote: “I was hearing from people who, like me, reviewed rejection as something so painful, so personal, and so negative that they would rather not ask for things, rather conform to the norm, and rather not take risks just to avoid the possibility of rejection. Like me, they had spent much of their lives rejecting themselves before others could get the chance.” 

I’ve witnessed this phenomenon hundreds of times over the course of my career. 

It might be salespeople standing at the back of the store and allowing their more resilient colleagues to greet customers. 

It’s giving customers “get-out-of-jail-free” cards, in the form of a business card with hastily scribbled product information and an invitation (you can’t make this stuff up) to shop around some more and have a think about it. 

And, of course, the most painful scenario of all: standing opposite the customer unable and unwilling to close the sale they have otherwise earned, until the customer decides to break the stalemate by leaving the store to think on it some more. 


Other than hiring salespeople with unstoppable resilience (the best remedy), there is no easy solution to this problem. 

What might be helpful, however, is resetting the expectation by having your salespeople reward themselves for collecting customer nos. 

In order to hear no from the customer, someone must ask for the sale—that’s progress. We also know that sales are a math game and the more you ask for the sale, the more success you will likely have in getting to yes.

It’s as if we have to earn the yes by eliminating as many nos as possible. 

For the salespeople with low resilience, destigmatizing rejection may help them get the boogeyman out from under their beds as collecting nos becomes an end in and of itself. 

It’s no longer something to be feared.

It’s not a perfect solution, but it ought to be slightly more palatable than asking for a haircut at PetSmart. 
Peter Smithis an industry consultant, speaker, and sales trainer, and author of 3 books on sales. Reach him at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.

The Latest

Claire’s storefront
MajorsAug 06, 2025
Claire’s Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Again

The jewelry and accessories retailer said its stores will remain open during the proceedings.

Smith & Son Jewelers storefront Springfield Massachusetts
IndependentsAug 06, 2025
Smith & Son Jewelers to Close 107-Year-Old Location

Its Springfield, Massachusetts, store is set to close as owner Andrew Smith heads into retirement.

Zahn-Z Beluga Spout Grey Spinel Ring and Beluga Spout Mandarin Garnet Ring
CollectionsAug 06, 2025
Zahn-Z Swims With Whales in ‘Beluga’ Collection

Designer Hiba Husayni looked to the whale’s melon shaped-head, blowhole, and fluke for her new chunky gold offerings.

rio-article photo-diamond.jpg
Brought to you by
Taking the Moment Head On: How Rio Grande Champions the Present & Future of Fine Jewelry

As a leading global jewelry supplier, Rio Grande is rapidly expanding and developing new solutions to meet the needs of jewelers worldwide.

Paola De Luca presenting Trendbook 2026+ at Vicenzaoro
TrendsAug 06, 2025
Paola De Luca to Release Trendbook 2027+

She will present the 23rd edition of the trend forecasting book at Vicenzaoro on Sept. 7.

Weekly QuizJul 31, 2025
This Week’s Quiz
Test your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Take the Quiz
Omar Roy mugshot
CrimeAug 05, 2025
Report: Suspect Arrested in 1992 Murder of Miami Jeweler

Omar Roy, 72, was arrested in connection with the murder of jeweler Dionisio Carlos Valladares.

Mignon Faget Beyond Katrina Pendant and Beyond Katrina Pin
CollectionsAug 05, 2025
Mignon Faget Commemorates 20th Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina

The New Orleans-based brand’s “Beyond Katrina” jewels honor the communities affected by the storm.

an instructor and a student in a bench jewelry classroom
Brought to you by
Investing in the Next Generation of Bench Jewelers

The Seymour & Evelyn Holtzman Bench Scholarship from Jewelers of America returns for a second year.

Jewelers of America Logo
Events & AwardsAug 05, 2025
JA Announces Seymour & Evelyn Holtzman Bench Scholarship Winners

The organization has awarded a total of $42,000 through its scholarship programs this year.

2026 Gem Awards logo
Events & AwardsAug 04, 2025
Gem Awards, David Yurman Introduce $50K Grant for Emerging Designers

The winner of the inaugural David Yurman Gem Awards Grant will be announced live at the 2026 Gem Awards gala.

Marlo Laz peridot and diamond Alexandra earrings
TrendsAug 04, 2025
Amanda’s Style File: August’s Bright Baubles

As summer winds down, celebrate the sunny disposition of the month’s birthstones: peridot and spinel.

Surveillance image of Watch King robbery suspect
CrimeAug 04, 2025
‘The Watch King’ Assaulted, Robbed in Queens

Moshe Haimoff, a social media personality and 47th Street retailer, was robbed of $559,000 worth of jewelry by men in construction outfits.

Xavier Dibbrell
MajorsAug 04, 2025
Borsheims Welcomes New Assistant Facilities Manager

Xavier Dibbrell brings more than a decade of experience to the role.

Signet Jewelers logo
MajorsAug 01, 2025
Helzberg President Julie Yoakum Moves Over to Signet Jewelers

The addition of Yoakum, who will lead Kay and Peoples, was one of three executive appointments Signet announced Thursday.

Mike Alexander
MajorsAug 01, 2025
Jewelers Mutual Names Mike Alexander as President

The insurance company’s previous president and CEO, Scott Murphy, has split his role and will continue as CEO.

 Gemfields rough rubies
SourcingAug 01, 2025
Gemfields’ Auction Revenue Drops 50% in H1

The nearly six-month pause of operations at its Kagem emerald mine earlier this year impacted the miner’s first-half results.

Hernsdorf Tears of Aphrodite Necklace
CollectionsAug 01, 2025
Piece of the Week: Hernsdorf’s ‘Tears of Aphrodite’ Necklace

The necklace uses spinel drops to immortalize the moment Aphrodite’s tears mixed with her lover Adonis’ blood after he was fatally wounded.

Stock image of a polished diamonds being held by tweezers
SourcingJul 31, 2025
De Beers Records $189M First-Half Loss

The diamond miner and marketer warned last week that it expected to be in the red after significantly cutting prices in Q2.

Lindsey Scoggins Studio convertible flower earrings
Events & AwardsJul 31, 2025
These Are the 2025 CASE Award Winners

Jewelers of America’s 35th annual design contest recognized creativity, artistry, style, and excellence.

Matthew Tratner, new president of Continental Buying Group
IndependentsJul 31, 2025
Matthew Tratner Takes Over as CBG President

Tratner succeeds Andie Weinman, who will begin stepping back from the buying group’s day-to-day operations.

Stock image of rough diamonds from the Kimberley mine
Policies & IssuesJul 30, 2025
Tariff on India Will Be 25%, Trump Says

The president made the announcement via Truth Social Wednesday, adding that India also will face a penalty for its dealings with Russia.

Pomellato Mini London blue topaz and diamond bracelet
FinancialsJul 30, 2025
Kering's Jewelry Brands Resilient As H1 Sales Slide 16%

The luxury titan’s star brand Gucci continued to struggle amid a "tough" environment.

Zadok Rolex Austin
WatchesJul 30, 2025
Peek Inside Zadok Jewelers’ New Rolex Showroom in Austin

Its opening marks the completion of the retailer’s new 11,000-square-foot store in the Texas capital.

Crowd of people in a shopping mall
SurveysJul 30, 2025
Consumer Confidence Ticks Up in July

Respondents shared concerns about tariffs and commentary on the “Big Beautiful Bill.”

Making a Killing in Diamonds by Rob Bates
SourcingJul 30, 2025
Rob Bates to Release Latest Book in His ‘Diamond District Mystery’ Series

“Making a Killing in Diamonds” tells the story of Mimi Rosen, the disappearance of a scientist, and the murder of lab-grown diamond CEO.

Tacori bezel-set diamond bands
EditorsJul 29, 2025
Out & About: Visiting Tacori’s Design Studio in LA

Senior Editor Lenore Fedow learned a lot when she took a behind-the-scenes factory tour with the jewelry brand earlier this year.

Mighty Fierce Audacious Necklace, Sandy Rubin Aziza Necklace, Koulianos Designs Illuminations Shield Pendant
Events & AwardsJul 29, 2025
Melee The Show Welcomes 15 New Designers

The first-time exhibitors, set to debut at the New York City show, share a devotion to craftsmanship, storytelling, and material integrity.

×

This site uses cookies to give you the best online experience. By continuing to use & browse this site, we assume you agree to our Privacy Policy