FinancialsMar 10, 2026
Signet Jewelers’ Q4 Sales Fall Flat The jewelry giant released preliminary results for the fourth quarter and full year on Monday, with final results slated to come next week.
IndependentsMay 16, 2017
Squirrel Spotting: Body Language Speaks Volumes
A great deal of time is spent coaching the correct language for sales. But even more important, Peter Smith says, is what your body language is saying.
Peter Smith has more than 30 years of experience building wholesale and retail sales teams. He currently is president of Vibhor Gems.
A great deal of time and energy is spent by managers and trainers coaching the correct language to use in sales environments. We understand the power of words, and we must frequently battle the need to say just the right thing without it coming across as staged or contrived.
Some of the efforts are trite, outdated and wholly ineffective. “How can I help you?” ought to be unceremoniously retired because it all too often serves to invite the equally useless and generally automatic, “I’m just looking.”
Other greetings, such as DSW’s laughable, “May I help the next shoe-lover?” are borderline ridiculous, coming, no doubt, from a well-intentioned, but misguided, corporate head who likely never worked a day of his or her life behind a retail counter.
What we hear less of is the impact that good (or bad) body language can have on our customer interactions.
Connie Dieken wrote in “Talk Less, Say More” that, “Vision is the most dominant human sense. Your brain processes visuals up to 10 times faster than mere words, according to research in both educational theory and cognitive psychology.”
If Dieken is correct and we do, in fact, process visuals 10 times faster than words, it would seem to suggest that how we approach/engage customers and how we carry ourselves, physically, matters a good deal more than the words we use. And, as it happens, those non-verbal communications happen immediately and carry through the entirety of the customer interaction.
So, what are the most important elements of body language of which we ought to be aware?
In the first instance, we should know that “emotional contagion” is a term that psychologists like to use. What it really means is that whatever emotional state you bring in to an interaction will be contagious. If you approach your customers with good energy and a positive attitude, you will likely receive that positive energy in return.
On the other hand, a negative attitude and demeanor is likely to receive the same in response from your customer; a certain recipe for emotional disconnect. So, start with a positive attitude and good energy.
Alexander Todorov, Princeton University, wrote an important white paper that indicated that we make a decision about whether we like someone or not in one-tenth of a second. That kind of immediate non-verbal communication demands that our body language--typically observed before any words are ever spoken--is extremely important.
The following tips come from some of the leading voices in psychology.
Smile
There is no better way to communicate non-verbally than to wear a smile on your face. Gretchen Rubin wrote in “The Happiness Project” that: “Studies show that you tend to like people whom you think like you; and the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct effect on how friendly you’re perceived to be.”
Touch
Leonard Mlodinow wrote in “Subliminal, How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior” that: “Scientists have discovered a particular kind of nerve fiber in the people’s skin--especially in the face and arms--that appears to have developed specifically to transmit the pleasantness of social touch.”
The easiest way to physically connect with someone when you meet them is to extend your hand and introduce yourself. Sincerely touching their elbow or arm, as the conversation progresses, is another way to create a meaningful physical connection.
Look Into Their Eyes
Sanjida O’Connell wrote in “Mindreading, An Investigation into How We Learn to Love and Lie” that: “When someone stares directly into your eyes, your heart rate increases, as does the electrical activity in your brain.”
So, go ahead, make purposeful eye contact and use that electricity to light a spark.
Use Hand Gestures
Joe Navarro wrote in “What Every Body Is Saying” that: “Effective communicators use their hands as part of their speech.”
Pull up a few TED Talks and watch the top speakers communicate. They seem almost unable to speak without using their hands, and their communication is all the more effective for it.
Mirror the Customer’s Tone of Voice
Rosabeth Moss Kanter wrote in “Confidence” that: “The synchronizing of a sad or happy tone of voice, for example, is often unconscious, as though the human brain is hard-wired to get in tune with other people, because it is more pleasant to have a sense of rapport. Being out of tune is jarring and makes people feel isolated.”
Be Expansive and Open
In “Presence,” Amy Cuddy wrote, “When our body language is confident and open, other people respond in kind, unconsciously reinforcing not only their perceptions of us but also our perception of others.”
Encountering people who are closed to us, slightly turned (disconnected) or with folded arms (guarded) makes it very difficult to establish a rapport.
Active Listening
In “The Rare Find,” George Anders wrote, “Aggressive listeners gain authority by being incredibly attentive to other people. These experts catch the gestures, pauses and inflections that hint at something beyond the words being said at the time.”
There is, of course, a difference between listening and active listening. Active listening is, absent the verbals, a participatory activity. It requires much more than simply being quiet while the other person speaks. The listener should lean-in, nod in affirmation, maintain eye contact and generally mirror the facial expressions of the person speaking.
Being aware of our non-verbal communication is crucial to establishing and maintaining an emotional connection with our customers and our co-workers.
It has often been said that when the words being spoken are at odds with the body language, always believe the body language. It’s that important.
Peter Smith is president of Vibhor, a public speaker and author of “Sell Something” and “Hiring Squirrels.” He spent 30 years building sales teams in retail and wholesale and he can be contacted at dublinsmith@yahoo.com, peter@vibhorgems.com, or on LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter.
Smile
There is no better way to communicate non-verbally than to wear a smile on your face. Gretchen Rubin wrote in “The Happiness Project” that: “Studies show that you tend to like people whom you think like you; and the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct effect on how friendly you’re perceived to be.”
Touch
Leonard Mlodinow wrote in “Subliminal, How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior” that: “Scientists have discovered a particular kind of nerve fiber in the people’s skin--especially in the face and arms--that appears to have developed specifically to transmit the pleasantness of social touch.”
The easiest way to physically connect with someone when you meet them is to extend your hand and introduce yourself. Sincerely touching their elbow or arm, as the conversation progresses, is another way to create a meaningful physical connection.
Look Into Their Eyes
Sanjida O’Connell wrote in “Mindreading, An Investigation into How We Learn to Love and Lie” that: “When someone stares directly into your eyes, your heart rate increases, as does the electrical activity in your brain.”
So, go ahead, make purposeful eye contact and use that electricity to light a spark.
Use Hand Gestures
Joe Navarro wrote in “What Every Body Is Saying” that: “Effective communicators use their hands as part of their speech.”
Pull up a few TED Talks and watch the top speakers communicate. They seem almost unable to speak without using their hands, and their communication is all the more effective for it.
Mirror the Customer’s Tone of Voice
Rosabeth Moss Kanter wrote in “Confidence” that: “The synchronizing of a sad or happy tone of voice, for example, is often unconscious, as though the human brain is hard-wired to get in tune with other people, because it is more pleasant to have a sense of rapport. Being out of tune is jarring and makes people feel isolated.”
Be Expansive and Open
In “Presence,” Amy Cuddy wrote, “When our body language is confident and open, other people respond in kind, unconsciously reinforcing not only their perceptions of us but also our perception of others.”
Encountering people who are closed to us, slightly turned (disconnected) or with folded arms (guarded) makes it very difficult to establish a rapport.
Active Listening
In “The Rare Find,” George Anders wrote, “Aggressive listeners gain authority by being incredibly attentive to other people. These experts catch the gestures, pauses and inflections that hint at something beyond the words being said at the time.”
There is, of course, a difference between listening and active listening. Active listening is, absent the verbals, a participatory activity. It requires much more than simply being quiet while the other person speaks. The listener should lean-in, nod in affirmation, maintain eye contact and generally mirror the facial expressions of the person speaking.
Being aware of our non-verbal communication is crucial to establishing and maintaining an emotional connection with our customers and our co-workers.
It has often been said that when the words being spoken are at odds with the body language, always believe the body language. It’s that important.
Peter Smith is president of Vibhor, a public speaker and author of “Sell Something” and “Hiring Squirrels.” He spent 30 years building sales teams in retail and wholesale and he can be contacted at dublinsmith@yahoo.com, peter@vibhorgems.com, or on LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter.
More on Independents
The Latest
MajorsMar 10, 2026
Saks Global to Close 15 More StoresThe retailer also gave an update on its vendor partnerships.
TrendsMar 10, 2026
Messika Names Julianne Moore as AmbassadorThe award-winning actress is the “epitome of modern allure,” the brand said.
Brought to you by
Is This You? Every Jeweler Has This Problem; We Have the Solution.Every jeweler faces the same challenge: helping customers protect what they love. Here’s the solution designed for today’s jewelry business.
CollectionsMar 10, 2026
Gemstones ‘Bloom’ in Sorellina’s New CollectionThe “Bloom” collection draws from the flower power movement of the 1960s and ‘70s with inlay pendants offered in eight colorways.
Weekly QuizMar 05, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Events & AwardsMar 10, 2026
Diamond-Studded Painting Shines at RJO Foundation AuctionThe unique piece was one of the custom works offered at the foundation's recent silent art auction, which garnered nearly $15,000 in total.
TrendsMar 09, 2026
Jake Gyllenhaal Is Bulgari’s Latest AmbassadorBulgari named Gyllenhaal as its brand ambassador for his embodiment of artistic depth, intellectual curiosity, and warmth.
Brought to you by
DCA Enters a New Chapter in Jewelry EducationWith refreshed branding, a new website, updated courses, and a pathway for growth, DCA is dedicated to supporting retail staff development.
Events & AwardsMar 09, 2026
TJS Announces 2026 Scholarship WinnersAwards were given to four students, one apprentice, and an emerging jeweler.
AuctionsMar 09, 2026
Joanna Carson’s Jewels Lead White-Glove SaleThe top jewelry lot of the late model’s estate sale, hosted by John Moran Auctioneers, was an Oscar Heyman & Brothers for Cartier necklace.
GradingMar 06, 2026
Tom Moses Leaving GIA After Nearly 50 YearsMoses, who started at GIA’s Santa Monica lab in 1976, will leave the Gemological Institute of America in May.
Lab-GrownMar 06, 2026
Charles & Colvard Files for Bankruptcy, Citing Price PressuresIncreased competition, falling lab-grown diamond and moissanite prices, and the rising cost of gold took a toll on the moissanite maker.
CollectionsMar 06, 2026
Zome’s ‘Solara’ Earrings Embody Celestial BeautyThe earrings, our Piece of the Week, feature pink tourmalines as planets orbiting around an aquamarine center set in 18-karat rose gold.
MajorsMar 06, 2026
Pomellato’s 2026 IWD Campaign Spotlights Economic Abuse“The Price of Freedom” campaign video for International Women’s Day confronts the quiet violence of financial control.
Policies & IssuesMar 05, 2026
Tariffs to Increase to 15% This Week, Treasury Secretary Says Also, a federal judge has ordered that companies that paid tariffs implemented under the IEEPA are entitled to refunds.
CollectionsMar 05, 2026
Common Era Honors ‘Difficult Women’ in CollectionThe ever-growing collection, which just expanded with the addition of Olga of Kyiv, features cameos of 12 women from history.
TrendsMar 05, 2026
Engagement Ring Trends 2026: What’s In, and WhyWe asked a jewelry historian, designer, bridal director, and wedding expert what’s trending in engagement rings. Here’s what they said.
Events & AwardsMar 05, 2026
AGS Announces Conclave 2026 Speaker LineupThe annual event will be held in Orlando, Florida, from Sept. 14-17.
TrendsMar 05, 2026
Caitríona Balfe Fronts Only Natural Diamonds CoverThe “Outlander” star modeled for the digital cover of the magazine’s spring issue, which features a story on her relationship with jewelry.
MajorsMar 05, 2026
Registration Opens for CIBJO Centenary CongressThis year’s annual congress, which will mark the confederation’s 100th anniversary, will take place this fall in Italy.
MajorsMar 04, 2026
Michael M Opens First StoreBeverly Hills was chosen as the location for the brand’s first store, designed as a “private residence for modern monarchs.”
Policies & IssuesMar 04, 2026
Luxury Brands Temporarily Shutter Middle East StoresKering, Apple, and other retailers have reportedly temporarily closed stores in the Middle East region in light of the recent conflicts.
EditorsMar 04, 2026
Q&A: Brilliant Earth’s CEO on the New Beverly Hills StoreBeth Gerstein discusses the vibe of the new store, what customers want when fine jewelry shopping today, and the details of “Date Night.”
Events & AwardsMar 04, 2026
JIS Miami Spring Show to Feature New Gifts Pavilion, Pop-Up Trends TalksNearly half of buyers are prioritizing silver and fashion collections this season, organizers said.
TrendsMar 04, 2026
Spinelli Kilcollin Rides Free In Year of the Horse CampaignThe “Live Now. Polish Later.” campaign features equestrians wearing the brand’s jewels while galloping across the icy plains of Kazakhstan.
MajorsMar 04, 2026
LeachGarner Names New Brand DirectorThe precious metals provider has promoted Jennifer Ashworth to the role.
Events & AwardsMar 03, 2026
Johnny Nelson Wins David Yurman Gem Awards GrantNelson will be honored as the inaugural grant winner at the Gem Awards gala on March 13.
