Independents

Coach’s Corner: Good Days and Bad Days

IndependentsAug 09, 2018

Coach’s Corner: Good Days and Bad Days

Pat Henneberry recently found herself in a dark place. She shares five tips on how she pulled herself out of her funk.

2016_Pat-Henneberry-NEW.jpg
Pat Henneberry is vice president of global learning and development at Hearts On Fire. She also is founder of The Jewelry Coach, a sales training community for jewelers. Reach her at pat@thejewelrycoach.com.

Let’s get real: You can’t always put on a smile, and sometimes you have bad days.

However if you’re in sales, you need to stay confident even in low times. Being confident is the most important thing you can do, yet sometimes is the most difficult. But one thing I know to be true is once you believe in what you’re doing, you focus and dig deep, you can find the confidence.

For some people, that’s easier said than done.

I recently had a setback with my health. I went from playing tennis every day, riding my bike, doing stand-up paddle boarding and trail running to an unexpected back surgery that landed me literally on my back, with a long recovery. My life as I knew it changed in a matter of moments, and I found myself slipping down a dark rabbit hole (yes, me, Pat Henneberry the inspirational speaker, was at a low point trying to dig out.)

Please understand I am not comparing my situation with the acute suffering of others; things could’ve been a lot worse and I realize how lucky I am. But let’s face it—there are times that suck in our lives and from which it is difficult to recover. It’s times like these that make it hard to believe in our skills and abilities, that can mess with you quickly before you know what’s happening.

So, here are five scientifically proven and Pat-backed ways that have helped me recover and can help you be more confident at work and in life.

Dress for Success
It’s easy to underestimate the effect of clothing.

You shower and get dressed every day, but you might not realize that your wardrobe could be influencing your confidence and mindset. A new pair of running shoes always make me run faster. A new pair of socks are miracle workers on the tennis court.

One study found that wearing formal attire changes people’s thought processes, stating: “Putting on formal clothes makes us feel powerful, and that changes the basic way we see the world.”

In short, dress to impress. Revamp and rework outfits you already have, purchase the better-quality dress or suit, and make sure you feel like the best version of yourself in your new threads.

Even when I was on in the hospital on my back, I wanted to dress in clothes every day. No dresses, but a T-shirt

and shorts made me feel better than a hospital gown. I would try to pick a funny T-shirt for the day. My favorite had, “I am only talking to my dog today” printed on it, which leads me to my next point.

Find Humor
Trust me, finding humor when you are in pain is no fun.

I believe I did get some humor DNA from my mother. My mom is the funniest person I know and I’ve seen her in some pretty bad situations through my life.

When I asked her how she pulled out of them and what the secret was to her 60-year marriage with my dad, humor was her answer. If you can find a moment to be funny in a not-so-good time it will help.

I remember in the hospital there was a Dry-Erase board with all kinds of nurse lingo and different letters that meant nothing to me, so I had a friend write in big letters BYOB. Every nurse who came in would look at it and laugh. It made me laugh too and for a moment it gave me confidence.

Learn from Constructive Criticism
Criticism can be tough if you focus on the negatives and get caught up in your missteps rather than focusing on your accomplishments over your entire career.

So, what can you do to remain positive? Filter criticism and remind yourself that it can help you improve your skills, work and relationships over time. Thank the person for their feedback and seek solutions to address it and remember, not all criticism is true. Take it in and move on.

Listen to Music
You already know that music can affect your mood, but did you know that certain kinds of music can influence your self-esteem too? A study from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University found that different types of songs impact confidence.

Listening to one of my up-tempo running playlists gets me going and helps me complete a task more successfully. The songs I find to be my most empowering including “Happy” by Pharrell; “September” by Earth Wind and Fire; “Get Ready for This” by 2 Unlimited; and “In Da Club” by 50 Cent (researchers attribute this song’s ability to motivate to heavier bass levels.)

The next time you’re getting ready for a job interview or a big presentation, just queue up Spotify, Amazon Music or Pandora.

Sit Up Straight
Your posture is important for more than just your physical health; it can also affect your confidence, according to researchers. According to my mom, you need to sit up straight and stop slouching or you will have back issues later in life (she was right; see above.)

We tend to assume our confidence is coming from own thoughts; we don’t realize our posture is affecting how much they believe in what we’re thinking and how people perceive us.

Everyone experiences periods of insecurity and anxiety, but allowing it to run your life will only hurt you in the workplace. Be confident in who you are and your ability to accomplish goals.

Conclusion
When I was at my lowest, lying on the bed in my doctor’s office, the pain was so bad that I couldn’t sit up. I was going down a dark hole fast.

My doctor looked at me and said, “Pat, you will have good days and bad days, but you will be OK.”

You too will have good days and bad days, and my hope for you is that you find your way back after a bad day.

So, put on a great outfit, tell a joke, turn up the volume on one of your favorite songs and stand up straight.

Pat Henneberry is vice president of global learning and development at Hearts On Fire. She also is founder of The Jewelry Coach, a sales training community for jewelers. Reach her at pat@thejewelrycoach.com.
Pat Henneberryis a strategic consultant, speaker, and trainer.

The Latest

Industry journalist Rob Bates
SourcingMar 25, 2026
Rob Bates Steps Down as JCK News Director

After 28 years with JCK, the veteran industry journalist is launching his own publication on Substack called The Jewelry Wire.

AMNH Beryl
GradingMar 25, 2026
New York’s Natural History Museum, Wiley To Build Minerals Database

Wiley said the project will give scientists worldwide access to the American Museum of Natural’s History renowned mineral collection.

Boochier Flower Puff Campaign
CollectionsMar 25, 2026
Boochier Turns Flower Friendship Bracelets Into Fine Jewelry

The “Flower Puff” collection looks to beaded flower friendship bracelets from childhood, turning the silhouette into nostalgic fine jewelry.

GIA iD100®
Brought to you by
Protect Your Customers and Your Business

You deserve to know what you are selling–to protect your customers as well as your business and your reputation.

Community for Ethical Jewelry logo
Policies & IssuesMar 25, 2026
Community for Ethical Jewelry to Host Bench Jeweler Shortage Webinar

Set for April 2, the webinar will discuss how the jewelry industry can address the workforce gap.

Weekly QuizMar 19, 2026
This Week’s Quiz
Test your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Take the Quiz
Tiffany & co diamond ring
AuctionsMar 24, 2026
White Diamonds Shine In Christie's Jewels Online Sale

The highest-grossing lot was a Tiffany & Co. ring set with a flawless, emerald-cut diamond of 10 carats.

AGTA GemFair Tucson
SourcingMar 24, 2026
AGTA Solidifies Tucson Dates For 2027-2029

The next three editions of AGTA GemFair Tucson will feature a five-day show that includes Sunday.

TopImageCrop.jpg
Brought to you by
Is This You? Every Jeweler Has This Problem; We Have the Solution.

Every jeweler faces the same challenge: helping customers protect what they love. Here’s the solution designed for today’s jewelry business.

Tom Heap
WatchesMar 24, 2026
Christie’s Names New Senior Specialist, Watches

Former Sotheby’s executive Tom Heap has taken on the London-based role.

NYPD robbery media
CrimeMar 23, 2026
NYPD Looking for 3 Jewelry Store Robbery Suspects

The group of women allegedly robbed two Catbird stores and one Gorjana location on the afternoon of March 9.

Georgia May Jagger in Tommy Hilfiger campaign
FinancialsMar 23, 2026
Movado’s Q4 Sales Rise As Demand Grows From Younger Shoppers, Women

Movado CEO Efraim Grinberg noted continued strength in the fashion watch and accessible luxury segments in the U.S.

Marco Bicego Art of Craft Campaign Imagery
TrendsMar 23, 2026
Marco Bicego’s New Campaign Showcases ‘The Art of Craft’

After celebrating 25 years in 2025, the campaign marks a new chapter for the jewelry brand with the message that “Identity Creates Value.”

Couture Time to Watches logo
Events & AwardsMar 23, 2026
These Watch Brands Are Heading to Couture This Year

Couture and Time to Watches announced the watch brands, from big names to independents, attendees will see at the show.

Macy’s New York City Herald Square flagship
FinancialsMar 20, 2026
Macy’s Turnaround Plans Shows Promise, Boosted by Bloomingdale’s

Plus, why Saks Global’s bankruptcy may have given Bloomingdale’s an edge.

Jwaneng Diamond
AuctionsMar 20, 2026
Sotheby's, De Beers Unveil ‘Jwaneng 28.88’ Diamond

The flawless, Type IIa stone is estimated to achieve up to $2.8 million at the auction house’s high jewelry sale in April.

Tiffany & Co.’s Three Jean Schlumberger for Tiffany & Co. Archives Brooches
TrendsMar 20, 2026
‘Frankenstein’ Costume Designer Is Bejeweled In Brooches for Oscars Win

Costume designer Kate Hawley wore three archival Tiffany & Co. brooches, our Pieces of the Week, while accepting her first Oscar.

Women wearing Zales jewelry
FinancialsMar 19, 2026
Signet Jewelers to Close 100 Stores, Shutter James Allen Banner

The jewelry retailer announced changes to its store network and brand portfolio during its fourth-quarter earnings call.

Hand holding shopping bags
SurveysMar 19, 2026
NRF Forecasts 4% Retail Sales Growth in 2026

From a weaker labor market to inflation, NRF Chief Economist Mark Mathews gave insight on what retailers can expect this year.

26.36 carat round brilliant cut white diamond
AuctionsMar 19, 2026
26-Carat Diamond Tops $1M at Auction

The historic stone, which sold at Elmwood’s in London, is the largest white diamond to be offered on the U.K. market in more than a decade.

JCK Rocks Nelly Graphic
Events & AwardsMar 19, 2026
JCK Rocks To Ride With Nelly

Three-time Grammy award-winning artist Nelly is set to perform at the annual event at Tao Beach in Las Vegas on May 31.

Lady Wardington and diamond-clip brooch
AuctionsMar 18, 2026
Collection of the ‘Severely Beautiful’ Lady Wardington Fetches $161K

The model and fashion editor’s gold evening bags were the top lots at the London sale, going for more than $25,000 each.

My Next Question Episode 3 guest Johnny Nelson
PodcastsMar 18, 2026
Episode 3: An Interview With Jewelry Designer Johnny Nelson

Fresh off winning the David Yurman Gem Awards Grant, Nelson discusses the ring that launched his career and his plans for the future.

Lucara blue diamond
SourcingMar 18, 2026
Lucara Recovers Nearly 37-Carat Blue Diamond

The “stunning” Type IIb stone was found via x-ray technology at its Karowe mine in Botswana.

Stuller The Basics of Jewelry
MajorsMar 18, 2026
Stuller Releases New Edition of Jewelry Education Book

“The Basics of Jewelry” has been updated to include modern topics and visuals.

Mark and Candy Udell on stage at the 2026 Gem Awards
Events & AwardsMar 17, 2026
The Best Moments From the 2026 Gem Awards

Held just before the Oscars, the jewelry industry’s big awards show had its share of standout jewelry, gowns, and acceptance speeches.

Winter Tourmaline
SourcingMar 17, 2026
Cruzeiro Mine Debuts ‘Winter Tourmaline’

The Brazilian mine’s new collection features cabochons in soft, muted shades like silver and lilac.

Natalie Portman in Tiffany & Co. Jewelry
TrendsMar 17, 2026
Natalie Portman Is Tiffany & Co.’s New Ambassador

The Academy Award-winning actress stars in Tiffany & Co.’s latest commercial, which debuted Sunday night during the Oscars.

×

This site uses cookies to give you the best online experience. By continuing to use & browse this site, we assume you agree to our Privacy Policy