Independents

Squirrel Spotting: Reach Out and Touch Someone

IndependentsJul 24, 2019

Squirrel Spotting: Reach Out and Touch Someone

Peter Smith’s latest column on the importance of physical contact will have you streaming Motown’s greatest hits in no time.

2019_NEW_Peter_Smith_copy_copy.jpg
Peter Smith is president of Memoire and author of two books, “Hiring Squirrels,” and “Sell Something.” Connect with Smith on LinkedIn or at dublinsmith@yahoo.com.

I love the Four Tops song “Reach Out (I’ll Be There).”

It’s got everything a great song needs—Levi Stubbs’ plaintive vocals, a great, driving bass line, wonderful lyrics and sublime harmonies.

In many ways, it could be the signature tune for Detroit, the city that gave us the Four Tops and that great Motown sound.

The song could also serve as the signature song for one of the most important disciplines in sales—touching our customers.

WATCH: The Four Tops, “Reach Out (I’ll Be There)”


Lawrence D. Rosenblum wrote in “See What I’m Saying” that: “When we touch someone, you activate a strip of your brain that runs from a spot just above your ears all the way to the top of your head. Touching also activates higher-level brain areas needed for recognition and reaction.”

Rosenblum echoes findings from the social-science community that frequently cite touching as a primary means to meaningful human connection.

Additionally, touching is a powerful way to combat anxiety and stress (guy shopping for an engagement ring perhaps?). There’s a reason we hug our children and our loved ones when they suffer setbacks, or physical or emotional pain. We’ve been making “boo-boos” go away for … well, it depends on how old you are.

Now, don’t think for a minute I’m suggesting we walk around all day hugging customers. Can you imagine?

Customer: “Hi. Do you guys change watch batteries?”

You: “As a matter of fact, we do. Now come over here and give me a hug!”

Yes? No? Probably not. How about this one:

Customer: “I’m upset that the prong on my ring appears to be broken.”

You: “Well, let’s hug a minute, and then I’ll take a look.”

Like I said, we can’t go around all day hugging everyone, but we should try to touch people at every opportunity, and the good news is that in jewelry stores, we get lots and lots of opportunities to do exactly that.

For instance, shaking hands can be the most natural thing in the world if conducted with authenticity (or a contrived gimmick if mandated across the board).

Decide for yourself when it feels right, and do it properly when you are doing it. Nothing feels worse than a bad handshake.

In “First Impressions,” Ann Demarais and Valerie White wrote about handshakes: “Their [social-psychologists’] findings indicate that a firm handshake, characterized by strength, vigor, duration, eye contact and completeness
of grip, does have a positive impact on a person’s first impression.”

I’ll add to that: If you’re a finger-breaker, get over yourself. We’re supposed to be connecting in a way that is good for two people, not auditioning to become a bricklayer.

Two additional and socially acceptable means of touching include the shoulder and the elbow.

It is perfectly fine to engage in a light touch of either and, needless to say, it’s a whole lot easier to do if you are on the same side of the counter as the customer. What a concept!

And, finally, the most obvious and appropriate means of touching your customer is when helping them to try on jewelry.

Necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings all provide obvious and organic ways for appropriate human-to-human touching, and getting jewelry on customers is always a good idea.

We’ll leave the final word on this to Leonard Mlodinow, who wrote in “Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior” that, “Scientists have discovered a particular kind of nerve fiber in the people’s skin—especially in the face and arms—that appears to have developed specifically to transmit the pleasantness of social touch.”

Now, if we could just put a tune to that and have Levi Stubbs sing it …

Peter Smith is president of Memoire and author of two books, “Hiring Squirrels: 12 Essential Interview Questions to Uncover Great Retail Sales Talent,” and “Sell Something: Principles and Perspectives for Engaged Retail Salespeople.” Both books are available in print or Kindle at Amazon.com. Connect with Smith on LinkedIn or at dublinsmith@yahoo.com.
Peter Smithis a principal partner at The Retail Smiths, a consultancy for jewelry vendors and retailers. He is the author of four books, including the recently released “Essentially Human, On Sales and Salespeople,” and he teaches sales behavior master classes. He can be reached at theretailsmiths@gmail.com.

The Latest

Daughters of the Deep indicolite earrings
EditorsNov 06, 2026
The Spectrum Pieces I Can’t Stop Thinking About

From a Betta fish brooch to a “dragon’s trove” of zircon eggs, here are seven pieces that’ve stuck with Associate Editor Lauren McLemore.

Pat Pruitt Dragonfly Earrings
TrendsNov 06, 2026
Pat Pruitt’s DragonFly Earrings Take Flight on Election Night

Groundbreaking New Mexico Governor-elect Deb Haaland wore the earrings, our Piece of the Week, when she declared victory on Tuesday.

Colin Jost in Kay Jewelers holiday ad
MajorsNov 06, 2026
SNL’s Colin Jost Finds the Perfect Gift in Kay Jewelers’ Holiday Ad

Jost goes on an epic journey, traversing rough seas and encountering a cyclops, to discover the perfect holiday gift.

overnight btyb 1026.png
Brought to you by
How Overnight Mountings’ Bridal Builder Makes Custom Engagement Ring Design Easier to Sell

With customization becoming more expected in engagement ring shopping, the Bridal Builder makes the process tangible.

GCAL 8X_NJSB_1.jpg
Supplier BulletinNov 05, 2026
Winning With GCAL 8X®: What’s Working at the Counter

Sponsored by GCAL by Sarine

Weekly QuizNov 05, 2026
This Week’s Quiz
Test your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Take the Quiz
Wrapped holiday gift boxes
SurveysNov 05, 2026
What Retailers Should Know About Holiday Shoppers This Year

From shrinking budgets to AI elves, here are five takeaways from holiday reports by Bain, Adobe, Mastercard, NRF, and insights from YouGov.

Little Pet Portrait Pendants by Russell Jones & Judi Powers
CollectionsNov 05, 2026
Judi Powers, Russell Jones Unleash Joy With New Collaboration

The designers combined their talents for Little Pet Portraits, hand-painted miniatures of our best friends set in a piece of jewelry.

DeBeersICONS_TITLE1_CUSTOMCONTENT_1872x1052 (1).jpg
Brought to you by
A Diamond Is Forever Launches 2026 Holiday Campaign Championing Natural Diamonds

A Diamond Is Forever's holiday campaign reimagines natural diamond icons for a new generation celebrating individuality.

Brilliant Earth Elizabeth Taylor jewelry
FinancialsNov 05, 2026
Brilliant Earth Continued to Resonate With High-Income Shoppers in Q3

Its non-bridal fine jewelry remains the star of the show, recently launching new collections inspired by Elizabeth Taylor and Jane Goodall.

Swarovski Joy: The Swarovski Musical Campaign with Ariana Grande
MajorsNov 05, 2026
Ariana Grande Stars In Swarovski’s Holiday Campaign

“Joy: The Swarovski Musical” features Ariana Grande as the leading lady in scenes inspired by classic musical montages.

GIA logo
GradingNov 05, 2026
GIA to Offer Next-Day Holiday Services

The lab will bring back its complimentary next-day service for some reports starting next week.

Cartier bracelet and ring
CrimeNov 04, 2026
$250K+ in Undeclared Cartier Jewelry Seized at Philadelphia Airport

A Pennsylvania woman failed to declare a ring and a bracelet, discarding the boxes and receipts to conceal the purchases, officials said.

Pandora celestial chandelier earrings
FinancialsNov 04, 2026
Pandora’s Q3 Sales Up 7% Amid Focus on Design

New collections and relevant marketing pushed the company forward, while Pandora’s lab-grown diamond sales continue to lag.

NYC Jewelry Week Biolgems Jewelry Exhibition
Events & AwardsNov 04, 2026
NYC Jewelry Week 2026 Is the Largest Edition Yet

The citywide celebration, slated for Nov. 16-22, is set to host more than 175 events, including live jewelry-making demos.

Lanessa Elrod
MajorsNov 04, 2026
Bergdorf Goodman Names New President

Lanessa Elrod, former president and CEO of Louis Vuitton Americas, has stepped into the role as the retailer celebrates 125 years.

Replica of Infinity Gauntlet
AuctionsNov 03, 2026
Infinity Gauntlet Set With 170+ Carats of Colored Gemstones Up for Auction

A replica of one of the most powerful objects in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the glove is heading to auction next month in Abu Dhabi.

David Yurman Gem Awards Grant 2027 Graphic
Events & AwardsNov 03, 2026
David Yurman Gem Awards Grant Opens 2027 Applications

The grant recipient will be awarded $50,000 as well as mentoring meetings with executives at David Yurman and other industry executives.

Kirstin Viland, Joanna Kovacs, Shari Lukacs
Events & AwardsNov 03, 2026
NAJA, Instappraise Name 2026 Scholarship Winners

The winners include a non-NAJA member seeking training, a member beginning NAJA courses, and a member becoming a Certified Master Appraiser.

Sothebys Romanov sapphire
AuctionsNov 02, 2026
197-Carat ‘Romanov Sapphire’ Heads to Sotheby’s Geneva

The rare jewel, which has links to Russia’s Romanov dynasty, is estimated to fetch up to $2 million.

Fake Audemars Piguet watch
CrimeNov 02, 2026
Customs Seizes More Than 400 Fake Audemars Piguet Watches

It is one of several seizures of counterfeit jewelry and watches by U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials in Louisville this year.

Jewelers of America new board members
MajorsNov 02, 2026
Lawrence Bock, Caryl Capeci, Amanda Coleman-Phelps Join JA Board

Jewelers of America announced the additions to its board of directors following its annual general meeting, held last week.

Kristi Yamaguchi Wearing Always Dream Collection
CollectionsNov 02, 2026
Olympian Kristi Yamaguchi, Heller Jewelers Expand ‘Always Dream’ Collection

The jewelry collection supports Yamaguchi’s Always Dream foundation, which provides reading and educational resources to families in need.

2026 AGTA Spectrum & Cutting Edge Awards Best Of Winners
Events & AwardsOct 30, 2026
Illuminating Carved Paraiba Pendant, Suite of Moonstones Wow at Spectrum Awards

Spectrum’s “Best of Show” honors went to a 101-carat Paraiba carved to look like Medusa that has a magnet-activated LED light.

Edina Kiss Eye Pendants on Charm Necklace
TrendsOct 30, 2026
Edina Kiss’ Pendants Say ‘Eye’m Watching You’

Our Halloween Pieces of the Week are four “Eye” pendants, each set with colorful gemstones.

Alexis Hoopes
MajorsOct 30, 2026
The RealReal Hires Former eBay Exec as New Chief Merchandising Officer

Alexis Hoopes expanded eBay’s “Authenticity Guarantee” program during her tenure.

Rolex store exterior Bellevue Washington
WatchesOct 29, 2026
Bucherer Opens Rolex Boutique in Washington State

The Rolex-owned retailer’s new 4,700-square-foot store’s façade honors the Pacific Northwest’s evergreen forests.

Norma Wellington spider web pendant
TrendsOct 29, 2026
Amanda's Style File: All Treats, No Tricks

Get into the Halloween spirit with this roundup of 13 spooky jewels.

×

This site uses cookies to give you the best online experience. By continuing to use & browse this site, we assume you agree to our Privacy Policy