TrendsMar 09, 2026
Jake Gyllenhaal Is Bulgari’s Latest AmbassadorBulgari named Gyllenhaal as its brand ambassador for his embodiment of artistic depth, intellectual curiosity, and warmth.
IndependentsJul 24, 2019
Squirrel Spotting: Reach Out and Touch Someone
Peter Smith’s latest column on the importance of physical contact will have you streaming Motown’s greatest hits in no time.
Peter Smith is president of Memoire and author of two books, “Hiring Squirrels,” and “Sell Something.” Connect with Smith on LinkedIn or at dublinsmith@yahoo.com.
I love the Four Tops song “Reach Out (I’ll Be There).”
It’s got everything a great song needs—Levi Stubbs’ plaintive vocals, a great, driving bass line, wonderful lyrics and sublime harmonies.
In many ways, it could be the signature tune for Detroit, the city that gave us the Four Tops and that great Motown sound.
The song could also serve as the signature song for one of the most important disciplines in sales—touching our customers.
WATCH: The Four Tops, “Reach Out (I’ll Be There)”
Lawrence D. Rosenblum wrote in “See What I’m Saying” that: “When we touch someone, you activate a strip of your brain that runs from a spot just above your ears all the way to the top of your head. Touching also activates higher-level brain areas needed for recognition and reaction.”
Rosenblum echoes findings from the social-science community that frequently cite touching as a primary means to meaningful human connection.
Additionally, touching is a powerful way to combat anxiety and stress (guy shopping for an engagement ring perhaps?). There’s a reason we hug our children and our loved ones when they suffer setbacks, or physical or emotional pain. We’ve been making “boo-boos” go away for … well, it depends on how old you are.
Now, don’t think for a minute I’m suggesting we walk around all day hugging customers. Can you imagine?
Customer: “Hi. Do you guys change watch batteries?”
You: “As a matter of fact, we do. Now come over here and give me a hug!”
Yes? No? Probably not. How about this one:
Customer: “I’m upset that the prong on my ring appears to be broken.”
You: “Well, let’s hug a minute, and then I’ll take a look.”
Like I said, we can’t go around all day hugging everyone, but we should try to touch people at every opportunity, and the good news is that in jewelry stores, we get lots and lots of opportunities to do exactly that.
For instance, shaking hands can be the most natural thing in the world if conducted with authenticity (or a contrived gimmick if mandated across the board).
Decide for yourself when it feels right, and do it properly when you are doing it. Nothing feels worse than a bad handshake.
In “First Impressions,” Ann Demarais and Valerie White wrote about handshakes: “Their [social-psychologists’] findings indicate that a firm handshake, characterized by strength, vigor, duration, eye contact and completeness
of grip, does have a positive impact on a person’s first impression.”
I’ll add to that: If you’re a finger-breaker, get over yourself. We’re supposed to be connecting in a way that is good for two people, not auditioning to become a bricklayer.
Two additional and socially acceptable means of touching include the shoulder and the elbow.
It is perfectly fine to engage in a light touch of either and, needless to say, it’s a whole lot easier to do if you are on the same side of the counter as the customer. What a concept!
And, finally, the most obvious and appropriate means of touching your customer is when helping them to try on jewelry.
Necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings all provide obvious and organic ways for appropriate human-to-human touching, and getting jewelry on customers is always a good idea.
We’ll leave the final word on this to Leonard Mlodinow, who wrote in “Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior” that, “Scientists have discovered a particular kind of nerve fiber in the people’s skin—especially in the face and arms—that appears to have developed specifically to transmit the pleasantness of social touch.”
Now, if we could just put a tune to that and have Levi Stubbs sing it …
Peter Smith is president of Memoire and author of two books, “Hiring Squirrels: 12 Essential Interview Questions to Uncover Great Retail Sales Talent,” and “Sell Something: Principles and Perspectives for Engaged Retail Salespeople.” Both books are available in print or Kindle at Amazon.com. Connect with Smith on LinkedIn or at dublinsmith@yahoo.com.
I’ll add to that: If you’re a finger-breaker, get over yourself. We’re supposed to be connecting in a way that is good for two people, not auditioning to become a bricklayer.
Two additional and socially acceptable means of touching include the shoulder and the elbow.
It is perfectly fine to engage in a light touch of either and, needless to say, it’s a whole lot easier to do if you are on the same side of the counter as the customer. What a concept!
And, finally, the most obvious and appropriate means of touching your customer is when helping them to try on jewelry.
Necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings all provide obvious and organic ways for appropriate human-to-human touching, and getting jewelry on customers is always a good idea.
We’ll leave the final word on this to Leonard Mlodinow, who wrote in “Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior” that, “Scientists have discovered a particular kind of nerve fiber in the people’s skin—especially in the face and arms—that appears to have developed specifically to transmit the pleasantness of social touch.”
Now, if we could just put a tune to that and have Levi Stubbs sing it …
Peter Smith is president of Memoire and author of two books, “Hiring Squirrels: 12 Essential Interview Questions to Uncover Great Retail Sales Talent,” and “Sell Something: Principles and Perspectives for Engaged Retail Salespeople.” Both books are available in print or Kindle at Amazon.com. Connect with Smith on LinkedIn or at dublinsmith@yahoo.com.
More on Independents
The Latest
Events & AwardsMar 09, 2026
TJS Announces 2026 Scholarship WinnersAwards were given to four students, one apprentice, and an emerging jeweler.
AuctionsMar 09, 2026
Joanna Carson’s Jewels Lead White-Glove SaleThe top jewelry lot of the late model’s estate sale, hosted by John Moran Auctioneers, was an Oscar Heyman & Brothers for Cartier necklace.
Brought to you by
Is This You? Every Jeweler Has This Problem; We Have the Solution.Every jeweler faces the same challenge: helping customers protect what they love. Here’s the solution designed for today’s jewelry business.
GradingMar 06, 2026
Tom Moses Leaving GIA After Nearly 50 YearsMoses, who started at GIA’s Santa Monica lab in 1976, will leave the Gemological Institute of America in May.
Weekly QuizMar 05, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Lab-GrownMar 06, 2026
Charles & Colvard Files for Bankruptcy, Citing Price PressuresIncreased competition, falling lab-grown diamond and moissanite prices, and the rising cost of gold took a toll on the moissanite maker.
CollectionsMar 06, 2026
Zome’s ‘Solara’ Earrings Embody Celestial BeautyThe earrings, our Piece of the Week, feature pink tourmalines as planets orbiting around an aquamarine center set in 18-karat rose gold.
Brought to you by
DCA Enters a New Chapter in Jewelry EducationWith refreshed branding, a new website, updated courses, and a pathway for growth, DCA is dedicated to supporting retail staff development.
MajorsMar 06, 2026
Pomellato’s 2026 IWD Campaign Spotlights Economic Abuse“The Price of Freedom” campaign video for International Women’s Day confronts the quiet violence of financial control.
Policies & IssuesMar 05, 2026
Tariffs to Increase to 15% This Week, Treasury Secretary Says Also, a federal judge has ordered that companies that paid tariffs implemented under the IEEPA are entitled to refunds.
CollectionsMar 05, 2026
Common Era Honors ‘Difficult Women’ in CollectionThe ever-growing collection, which just expanded with the addition of Olga of Kyiv, features cameos of 12 women from history.
TrendsMar 05, 2026
Engagement Ring Trends 2026: What’s In, and WhyWe asked a jewelry historian, designer, bridal director, and wedding expert what’s trending in engagement rings. Here’s what they said.
Events & AwardsMar 05, 2026
AGS Announces Conclave 2026 Speaker LineupThe annual event will be held in Orlando, Florida, from Sept. 14-17.
TrendsMar 05, 2026
Caitríona Balfe Fronts Only Natural Diamonds CoverThe “Outlander” star modeled for the digital cover of the magazine’s spring issue, which features a story on her relationship with jewelry.
MajorsMar 05, 2026
Registration Opens for CIBJO Centenary CongressThis year’s annual congress, which will mark the confederation’s 100th anniversary, will take place this fall in Italy.
MajorsMar 04, 2026
Michael M Opens First StoreBeverly Hills was chosen as the location for the brand’s first store, designed as a “private residence for modern monarchs.”
Policies & IssuesMar 04, 2026
Luxury Brands Temporarily Shutter Middle East StoresKering, Apple, and other retailers have reportedly temporarily closed stores in the Middle East region in light of the recent conflicts.
EditorsMar 04, 2026
Q&A: Brilliant Earth’s CEO on the New Beverly Hills StoreBeth Gerstein discusses the vibe of the new store, what customers want when fine jewelry shopping today, and the details of “Date Night.”
Events & AwardsMar 04, 2026
JIS Miami Spring Show to Feature New Gifts Pavilion, Pop-Up Trends TalksNearly half of buyers are prioritizing silver and fashion collections this season, organizers said.
TrendsMar 04, 2026
Spinelli Kilcollin Rides Free In Year of the Horse CampaignThe “Live Now. Polish Later.” campaign features equestrians wearing the brand’s jewels while galloping across the icy plains of Kazakhstan.
MajorsMar 04, 2026
LeachGarner Names New Brand DirectorThe precious metals provider has promoted Jennifer Ashworth to the role.
Events & AwardsMar 03, 2026
Johnny Nelson Wins David Yurman Gem Awards GrantNelson will be honored as the inaugural grant winner at the Gem Awards gala on March 13.
SourcingMar 03, 2026
7 Trends That Could Define the Diamond Industry’s FutureExperts from India weigh in the politics, policies, and market dynamics for diamantaires to monitor in 2026 and beyond.
MajorsMar 03, 2026
Swiss Refiner Completes Acquisition of Gannon & ScottThe American precious metals refiner’s day-to-day operations remain the same post-acquisition.
TrendsMar 03, 2026
Amanda’s Style File: AquatopiaThese aquamarine jewels channel the calming energy of the March birthstone.
Events & AwardsMar 03, 2026
AGTA Adds Another New Category for SpectrumThe “Innovative Design” category and award will debut in the Spectrum division of this year’s AGTA Spectrum & Cutting Edge Awards.
EditorsMar 02, 2026
Jewelry at the Actor Awards: Reimagining Hollywood GlamourDiamond jewelry was the star of the event formerly known as the SAG Awards.
