ColumnistsFeb 04, 2026
January Jewelry Sales: More Dollars Spent, Fewer Units Sold ColumnistsFeb 20, 2026
Peter Smith: Happiness, Cavemen, and Jewelry Sales
Smith encourages salespeople to ask customers questions that elicit the release of oxytocin, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
When everyone prattles on about how retail is going online, or how brick stores are yesterday’s news, they’re missing some important information that doesn’t always lend itself to bumper stickers or lazy one-liners.
In fact, it might even require the doomsday merchants to a pick up a book every once in a while and read it.
I do that a lot—read books, that is—as a lifelong commitment to over-compensating for poor decision-making in my youth. But that’s another story for another day.
In any case, while the psychology of human connection is rich with evidence about why people meeting people—even strangers—is good for our mental and physical health, something I read in a book last week put an exclamation point on things, and I wanted to share it with you.
The book, written by Ben Rein, a neuroscientist and lecturer at Stanford, is called “Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection,” and the comment seems innocuous enough until it is put it into the context of our business and what we do.
Rein writes, “People in happy, loving relationships have higher oxytocin levels. When they think about their partner, brain areas that express oxytocin receptors light up.”
Think about that for a minute. The science is saying that just thinking about a loved one literally changes the chemical make-up of our brains.
That information may intuitively feel right, but we now have scientific proof that it is true.
Related stories will be right here …
In fact, it might even require the doomsday merchants to a pick up a book every once in a while and read it.
I do that a lot—read books, that is—as a lifelong commitment to over-compensating for poor decision-making in my youth. But that’s another story for another day.
In any case, while the psychology of human connection is rich with evidence about why people meeting people—even strangers—is good for our mental and physical health, something I read in a book last week put an exclamation point on things, and I wanted to share it with you.
The book, written by Ben Rein, a neuroscientist and lecturer at Stanford, is called “Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection,” and the comment seems innocuous enough until it is put it into the context of our business and what we do.
Rein writes, “People in happy, loving relationships have higher oxytocin levels. When they think about their partner, brain areas that express oxytocin receptors light up.”
Think about that for a minute. The science is saying that just thinking about a loved one literally changes the chemical make-up of our brains.
That information may intuitively feel right, but we now have scientific proof that it is true.
So, tell me again how throwing product information and well-meaning platitudes at customers makes sense when we engage them in retail stores?
We so often see salespeople equip themselves with more product knowledge than you can shake a stick at.
Able and ready to wax poetic about crown angles, refractive index, and culets, telling customers where a piece was made, and what the alloy composition is.
Product information is nice to have, but it should be viewed like alcohol and ice cream—best consumed in small doses and with extreme caution (Sauvignon Blanc and mint chocolate chip, if you must know).
If you want to fundamentally change the nature of a conversation and ensure your customer’s brain chemistry works for them and with you, ask them to tell you about their loved one.
Ask him how they met. Ask her what she loves most about her partner.
Our brains were evolutionarily wired to respond to engagement and storytelling. It’s literally how we survived.
“Hey Thog (an AI-verified classic caveman name), have you noticed the mastodons hanging around the river lately?”
“I have not, Drokk, (AI-verified, again) thanks for the heads up!”
Now imagine if Thog and Drokk had decided instead to chat about alluvial diamond deposits or the nature (pun intended) of lab-grown diamonds. “Hey Drokk, what’s a lab?”
Exactly. Mastodon eats Drokk and Thog, while the former is preaching about stuff nobody cares about, and there’s no you today.
Ask your customer about things that matter to them. There’s nothing that matters more to a customer than the person they love.
Just thinking about them ignites a rush of oxytocin, the feel good chemical, in our brains.
For now, I’ve got to take myself off to Starbucks for a peppermint mocha latte, no whipped cream, for my love, lest she wakes up and goes all mastodon on me for slacking.
Happy retailing!
Editors' Picks
Sponsored by
More on Columnists
The Latest
IndependentsSep 29, 2026
Christy Bromberg, Longtime Gift Buyer for Underwood Jewelers, Dies at 68She is remembered for her joie de vivre, upbeat personality, genuine interest in other people, and love of the Alabama Crimson Tide.
AuctionsSep 29, 2026
Dionne Warwick’s Jewelry Goes Up for AuctionOnline bidding is open now for Julien’s sale of items owned by the “Walk On By” singer, whose final album comes out this fall.
Events & AwardsSep 29, 2026
Matt Stuller to Receive 2027 Gem Award for Lifetime AchievementThe founder and executive chairman of Stuller Inc. is being honored for his impact on the jewelry industry at the 25th annual Gem Awards.
Brought to you by
Meet Gemology’s Next Generation Microscope: GIA® Gemolite® NXT Professional EditionExperience gemstones with greater precision and comfort than ever before.
AuctionsSep 29, 2026
If You Love Cats, This Jewelry Auction Is for YouCat ladies of the jewelry world, unite. Sandy Lerner’s collection of cat jewelry and other objects is going up for auction Wednesday.
Weekly QuizSep 25, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
CollectionsSep 28, 2026
De Beers London Drops Water-Inspired High Jewelry Collection“Vibrations” features several firsts for De Beers’ high jewelry, including the use of chalcedony and diamonds sourced from artisanal miners.
CollectionsSep 28, 2026
Jessica McCormack Turns to Classic Motif for New CollectionThe “Bows” collection features three interpretations of the bow motif designed with Georgian and Victorian influences.
Brought to you by
Your Piece Could Be the One Editors Talk AboutSubmit your pieces for a chance to win in this year's competition.
Events & AwardsSep 28, 2026
Guy Borenstein, Troy Underwood Among the Professionals Honored at AGS Conclave 2026The American Gem Society recognized industry members, one Guild, and a law enforcement official for their contributions to jewelry.
FinancialsSep 28, 2026
Instappraise, Jewelers Mutual Look to Simplify Jewelry InsuranceThrough a new system integration, customers can now receive instant personal jewelry insurance quotes at the time of appraisal.
WatchesSep 25, 2026
Smaller Rolex Watches Showing Strength on Secondary Market, Data ShowsFive of the 10 fastest-appreciating Rolex models on Bob’s Watches were Datejust 31 or Lady Datejust watches.
MajorsSep 25, 2026
Sherwood Family Buys Back Daniel’s Jewelers from Private EquityThe Sherwood family and AJS Creations CEO Tejas Shah purchased the jewelry chain back from Palladium Equity Partners.
Lab-GrownSep 25, 2026
Brilliant Earth Collabs with Elizabeth Taylor Estate on Jewelry Collection“The Elizabeth Taylor Collection” uses lab-grown diamonds and gemstones in contemporary designs inspired by the icon.
TrendsSep 25, 2026
A Peek at Taylor Swift’s Game-Day DiamondsThe artist wore Dana Rebecca Designs’ marquise diamond-set gold hoops at the Chiefs game last Sunday. Now they’re our Piece of the Week.
CrimeSep 24, 2026
From Conclave: Security Measures Jewelers Should Be TakingJSA and Jewelers Mutual shared advice on spotting suspicious behavior, combatting cell phone jammers, and staying safe at home.
AuctionsSep 24, 2026
8-Carat Blue Diamond Heads to UK Jewelry AuctionThe fancy light blue diamond is estimated to fetch up to $2.6 million at Elmwood’s next week.
TrendsSep 24, 2026
This New Jewelry Book Decodes the Secret Meaning in Victorian Jewelry“Secret Language of Victorian Jewelry” unveils the meaning behind the symbols, motifs, and gemstones used in Victorian-era jewelry.
Lab-GrownSep 24, 2026
Kira Jewels Opens B2B E-Commerce Portal for Lab-Grown Diamond Jewelry KIRAJewels.one gives retailers access to more than 500 SKUs of lab-grown diamond rings, earrings, necklaces, and bracelets.
TrendsSep 23, 2026
Holiday Diamond Jewelry Trends: Layered Looks, PersonalizationThis holiday season, look to pieces that will help to fill out customers’ everyday diamond jewelry wardrobe, experts say.
SourcingSep 23, 2026
Organization That Promotes Natural Diamond Rebrands for Third Time The Natural Diamond Council is now The Diamond Collective and has announced a new strategy under CEO Amber Pepper.
IndependentsSep 23, 2026
This Milwaukee-Area Jeweler Is Serving the 7CsPaul’s Jewelers sells coffee, chocolate, and cookies from a custom gold-wrapped trailer parked outside the store starting at 7 a.m.
MajorsSep 23, 2026
Kay Jewelers’ New Campaign Goes ‘All In’ on LovePart of its brand relaunch, the marketing around the campaign includes a contest involving a jacket set with 550 diamonds.
Events & AwardsSep 23, 2026
Tiffany & Co. Exhibition Opening at Arkansas Museum The curation, opening soon at the Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, honors the jeweler’s heritage through a distinctly American lens.
CollectionsSep 23, 2026
Pucker Up for Pandora’s New Pat McGrath Jewelry CollabThe jewelry giant has partnered with the famed makeup artist to create a colorful new collection of charms and rings.
IndependentsSep 23, 2026
Texas Jewelers Association to Celebrate 120th AnniversaryThe association will mark the milestone at its convention next month.
IndependentsSep 23, 2026
Sissy’s Log Cabin’s ‘Back to School and Bling’ Event ReturnsThe jeweler donated school supplies to Memphis, Tennessee, students during the event combining basketball and mentorship.
