ColumnistsJun 20, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Not Head-Counting Is a Head ScratcherColumnistsAug 29, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much
Peter Smith mines the psychology of disgust for insight on the messages we communicate through body language.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
Psychologist Paul Rozin noted that a single cockroach can wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a lone cherry will have no effect at all in making a bowl of cockroaches more appealing.
Rozin should know; he is an expert on disgust. Yep, you read that correctly. He is an esteemed professor at the University of Pennsylvania where he teaches honors courses and post-graduate seminars on the psychology of disgust.
I feel like I’d have a distinct advantage as a student in one of Rozin’s classes. All I would need is boiling cabbage or any dish served with the eyes of the unwittingly sacrificed still intact. Aced!
He, of course, was speaking to our tendency to default to the negative even when there is ample evidence of positives to be found.
In the case of the single cockroach, we could of course extract the offending insect and wash the bowl of cherries, but would we? Or would we dump the whole offensive mess into the garbage?
Rozin’s work suggests the latter is more likely, as the negative is what stands out about the experience.
Business has more in common with the professor’s proverbial bowl of cherries than we might think.
You strive to provide outstanding customer experiences and believe you always do so, and yet it takes one very small hiccup to have a customer decide to dump the whole mess in the bin.
If you are lucky, the offended customer will share their unsatisfying experience and give you the opportunity to rectify the situation.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The customer sometimes leaves your business resolving to go quietly (or not, as is often the case) into that dark night and find another business to frequent thereafter.
My wife and I recently enjoyed the rare luxury of a breakfast out. When we checked in with the hostess at the restaurant she greeted us with good energy, and the right words.
The problem was, she didn’t look at us when she greeted us, or when she asked the obvious, “Are you guys joining us for breakfast?”
I mean, jeez, how did she even know? We could have been two plumbers showing up to fix a burst pipe, or exterminators looking for cockroaches in the cherries.
Despite her eye-contact-avoiding behavior she was otherwise friendly, not always a given in service businesses or retail stores.
The breakfast itself was imperfectly fine, but what lingered afterwards was the strange behavior of the host.
I wondered what she would have said if I had pointed out the disconnect between what she thought she was communicating and what she really was communicating.
“We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.”
In Albert Mehrabian’s research, he concluded that communication is 7 percent words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent non-verbal.
The host had done a fine job on the words and even tone of voice.
What she missed, however, was the 55 percent, the non-verbal. Her lack of eye contact suggested indifference on her part, and a lack of training on the part of the hotel and restaurant.
Getting the non-verbals right is more than intent, it is a function of awareness and repetition. We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.
That includes the following.
— Eye contact. As basic as it seems, we must ensure that we are making eye contact with our customers. That means holding your contact for about four seconds, or at least until the end of a thought or expression.
— Open Body Language. Open your body to the customer when greeting them. It’s not a good idea to be reaching for something or other in a case or drawer or looking sideways as you work on paperwork or some other task.
— Distracted Listening. Distracted listening is a real danger to a shared experience. If you are talking to a customer and you look away it sends a signal of indifference to your customer. Be completely present and apologize if you need to break your attention for a moment.
— Smile. Offer a sincere smile, not one designed for the red carpet, where it often comes across as a chore. If you enjoy people, smiling when you meet one ought to be a pleasant experience. If it too often feels forced, you might just be the cockroach in the bowl of cherries.
— Active Hands. Use your hands when you are communicating. Don’t hide them, put them in your pockets, or keep them screened below the showcase. Active hands, with palms visible as often as possible, has a powerful impact on connecting two strangers in a way that feels very safe.
I hope these few tips help you improve your sales performance and avoid unwittingly signaling to your customers that you’d rather be doing something else.
Always glad to hear from you if you have feedback. You can reach me at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com or on LinkedIn.
Editors' Picks
Sponsored by
More on Columnists
The Latest
MajorsOct 13, 2026
David Webb Owner Purchases Lugano JewelryThe high-end jewelry retailer was sold to private investment firm Middle West Partners and a group of longtime clients.
Lab-GrownOct 13, 2026
Stephanie Gottlieb Takes Lab-Grown Diamond Collection WholesaleThe jewelry designer has partnered with Sofer Jewelry to distribute her 85-piece lab-grown diamond collection.
IndependentsOct 13, 2026
Retailer Hall of Fame 2026: Sean DunnDunn, this year’s Single-Store Independent inductee, is passionate about innovation and telling the story of natural diamonds.
Brought to you by
Meet Gemology’s Next Generation Microscope: GIA® Gemolite® NXT Professional EditionExperience gemstones with greater precision and comfort than ever before.
AuctionsOct 13, 2026
Christie's Geneva To Auction 'Bulgari Pink' DiamondThe 24-carat fancy intense pink diamond ring could fetch up to $18 million at the November sale.
Weekly QuizOct 08, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
IndependentsOct 13, 2026
Greenwich St. Jewelers’ New Candle Smells Like HomeThe “Island Jewel” candle honors New York City and Puerto Rico and raises money for the island’s water relief efforts.
TechnologyOct 13, 2026
GemFind Is a New JA Member Benefit Partner The partnership will give JA members access to preferred pricing, exclusive benefits, technology solutions, education, and resources.
Brought to you by
Your Piece Could Be the One Editors Talk AboutSubmit your pieces for a chance to win in this year's competition.
SurveysOct 09, 2026
These Will Be the 10 Busiest Days for In-Store Shopping This Holiday SeasonStores should expect to see the most customers on Nov. 27, and Christmas week is expected to be hectic too, as Dec. 25 falls on a Friday.
CollectionsOct 09, 2026
Elisa Solomon Collabs With Serendipity 3 on ‘Frozen Hot Chocolate’ CharmThe charm, our Piece of the Week, features brown diamond frozen hot chocolate topped with white diamond whipped cream and a ruby straw.
AuctionsOct 09, 2026
8-Carat Blue Diamond Goes Unsold at UK Jewelry Auction The top lot of Elmwood’s recent fine jewelry sale in London was a 1.84-carat, D color Tiffany & Co. solitaire diamond ring.
WatchesOct 09, 2026
Movado to Sell Majority Stake in Ebel for $66.5MThe watch company agreed to sell a 95 percent interest to a group comprised of F.P. Journe, Chanel, and Swiss watch exec Pierre Jacques.
Policies & IssuesOct 08, 2026
Third Wave of IEEPA Tariff Refunds Begins This round of tariff refunds is for importers that have sued over IEEPA tariffs in the Court of International Trade and won.
CollectionsOct 08, 2026
Brent Neale’s New Collection Goes ‘Back to Basics’It revisits the brand’s most requested silhouettes, from "Pillow"-set necklaces and bracelets to "Signature"-set rings and earrings.
SourcingOct 08, 2026
Ethical Gem Fair Heads Back to BrooklynThe trade-only event includes buying opportunities as well as educational sessions on artisanal mining, the new Paraíba source, and more.
Events & AwardsOct 08, 2026
Pattons Fine Jewelry Sweeps Local Design ContestAra Chanakian, a jeweler at Pattons, took home top honors in every category at Jewelers of Louisiana’s annual jewelry design competition.
AuctionsOct 08, 2026
Reba McEntire’s Jewelry, Watches Head to Julien’s AuctionsThe live charity benefit sale in Nashville will also feature gowns, boots, and other memorabilia from the country music legend.
Supplier BulletinOct 08, 2026
Overnight Mountings’ Bridal Builder Helps Jewelers Turn Custom Design into a Hands-On Selling ExperienceSponsored by Overnight Mountings
Policies & IssuesOct 07, 2026
The Plumb Club Amplifies Its Voice as Geopolitical Pressures MountThe supplier organization recently joined JA and JVC to have more input on political issues affecting the jewelry industry.
CollectionsOct 07, 2026
Blue Nile, Royal Asscher Collection Highlights Natural Diamond BeautyBlue Nile, a Signet Jewelers-owned brand, is now Royal Asscher’s exclusive licensed retailer in North America.
CollectionsOct 07, 2026
4 Standout Pieces in Audemars Piguet’s First High Jewelry Collection “Royal Oak” pays homage to the brand’s most popular watch model using 18-karat gold as well as diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires.
MajorsOct 07, 2026
Empire Safe & Vault Promotes Juan Morales to CEOAs part of the transition, Joseph Nicosia has stepped into the role of COO.
SourcingOct 07, 2026
AGTA Extends Deadline for 2026 Spectrum Awards EntriesParticipants now have until Oct. 14 to complete their submissions.
CrimeOct 06, 2026
6 Charged in Connection to String of New Jersey Smash-and-GrabsThe alleged thieves used crow bars and sledgehammers to smash into jewelry stores across the state.
SourcingOct 06, 2026
DDG Taps Influencers for ‘My Diamond Does Good’ CampaignIn the new consumer-facing campaign, four fashion and lifestyle creators share the stories behind their natural diamond pieces.
MajorsOct 06, 2026
Frederick Goldman Names COO, CMOFGI President John Orrico is also leaving the company after more than 13 years.
Events & AwardsOct 06, 2026
JIS Fall Returns to MiamiThe 2026 edition will feature presentations on alternative materials and design trends, as well as pop-up activations on the show floor.
