Columnists

Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much

ColumnistsAug 29, 2023

Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much

Peter Smith mines the psychology of disgust for insight on the messages we communicate through body language.

National Jeweler columnist Peter Smith
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
Psychologist Paul Rozin noted that a single cockroach can wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a lone cherry will have no effect at all in making a bowl of cockroaches more appealing.  
 
Rozin should know; he is an expert on disgust. Yep, you read that correctly. He is an esteemed professor at the University of Pennsylvania where he teaches honors courses and post-graduate seminars on the psychology of disgust.  

I feel like I’d have a distinct advantage as a student in one of Rozin’s classes. All I would need is boiling cabbage or any dish served with the eyes of the unwittingly sacrificed still intact. Aced!  
 
He, of course, was speaking to our tendency to default to the negative even when there is ample evidence of positives to be found.  
 
In the case of the single cockroach, we could of course extract the offending insect and wash the bowl of cherries, but would we? Or would we dump the whole offensive mess into the garbage?  
 
Rozin’s work suggests the latter is more likely, as the negative is what stands out about the experience.  
 
Business has more in common with the professor’s proverbial bowl of cherries than we might think.  
 
You strive to provide outstanding customer experiences and believe you always do so, and yet it takes one very small hiccup to have a customer decide to dump the whole mess in the bin.  
 
If you are lucky, the offended customer will share their unsatisfying experience and give you the opportunity to rectify the situation.  
 
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The customer sometimes leaves your business resolving to go quietly (or not, as is often the case) into that dark night and find another business to frequent thereafter.  
 
 Related stories will be right here … 
 
My wife and I recently enjoyed the rare luxury of a breakfast out. When we checked in with the hostess at the restaurant she greeted us with good energy, and the right words.  
 
The problem was, she didn’t look at us when she greeted us, or when she asked the obvious, “Are you guys joining us for breakfast?”  
 
I mean, jeez, how did she even know? We could have been two plumbers showing up to fix a burst pipe, or exterminators looking for cockroaches in the cherries. 
 
Despite her eye-contact-avoiding behavior she was otherwise friendly, not always a given in service businesses or retail stores.  
 
The breakfast itself was imperfectly fine, but what lingered afterwards was the strange behavior of the host.  
 
I wondered what she would have said if I had pointed out the disconnect between what she thought she was communicating and what she really was communicating. 
 
“We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.” 
 
In Albert Mehrabian’s research, he concluded that communication is 7 percent words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent non-verbal.  
 
The host had done a fine job on the words and even tone of voice.  
 
What she missed, however, was the 55 percent, the non-verbal. Her lack of eye contact suggested indifference on her part, and a lack of training on the part of the hotel and restaurant.  
 
Getting the non-verbals right is more than intent, it is a function of awareness and repetition. We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.  
 
That includes the following. 
 
Eye contact. As basic as it seems, we must ensure that we are making eye contact with our customers. That means holding your contact for about four seconds, or at least until the end of a thought or expression. 
 
Open Body Language. Open your body to the customer when greeting them. It’s not a good idea to be reaching for something or other in a case or drawer or looking sideways as you work on paperwork or some other task. 
 
Distracted Listening. Distracted listening is a real danger to a shared experience. If you are talking to a customer and you look away it sends a signal of indifference to your customer. Be completely present and apologize if you need to break your attention for a moment.   
 
Smile. Offer a sincere smile, not one designed for the red carpet, where it often comes across as a chore. If you enjoy people, smiling when you meet one ought to be a pleasant experience. If it too often feels forced, you might just be the cockroach in the bowl of cherries.  
 
Active Hands. Use your hands when you are communicating. Don’t hide them, put them in your pockets, or keep them screened below the showcase. Active hands, with palms visible as often as possible, has a powerful impact on connecting two strangers in a way that feels very safe.  
 
I hope these few tips help you improve your sales performance and avoid unwittingly signaling to your customers that you’d rather be doing something else. 
 
Always glad to hear from you if you have feedback. You can reach me at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com or on LinkedIn

The Latest

LIM-401 2024 National Jeweler Supplier Bulletin- iD100 Web and Eblast FINAL (1).jpg
Supplier BulletinApr 24, 2025
Protect Your Customers and Your Business

Sponsored by the Gemological Institute of America

Wolf CEO Simon Wolf
EditorsApr 24, 2025
Q&A: Wolf’s CEO Talks U.S. Expansion

Simon Wolf shares why the time was right to open a new office here, what he looks for in a retail partner, and why he loves U.S. consumers.

Iowa jeweler Herman Ginsberg
IndependentsApr 24, 2025
Longtime Iowa Jeweler Herman Ginsberg Dies at 99

A third-generation jeweler, Ginsberg worked at his family’s store, Ginsberg Jewelers, from 1948 until his retirement in 2019.

gia1d100 btyb.jpg
Brought to you by
Protect Your Customers and Your Business

The risk of laboratory-grown diamonds being falsely presented as natural diamonds presents a very significant danger to consumer trust.

Charles & Colvard moissanite ring
FinancialsApr 24, 2025
Charles & Colvard Delisted From Nasdaq Due to Noncompliance

The company failed to file its quarterly reports in a timely manner.

Weekly QuizApr 24, 2025
This Week’s Quiz
Test your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Take the Quiz
Young Diamantaires
SourcingApr 24, 2025
Young Diamantaires Transition to Nonprofit

The organization also announced its board of directors.

Mined + Found "Hope" Matchbox Locket
TrendsApr 24, 2025
Amanda’s Style File: So Charming

Charms may be tiny but with their small size comes endless layering possibilities, from bracelets to necklaces and earrings.

gia-topimage 0325.jpg
Brought to you by
A Brilliant Future Is Here

Get online education from GIA experts.

Bulgari’s expanded factory in Valenza, Italy
MajorsApr 23, 2025
Bulgari Doubles Size of Jewelry Factory in Italy

Located in Valenza, the now 355,000-square-foot facility includes a new jewelry school that’s open to the public, Scuola Bulgari.

Jason McNary accepting FGI Fine Jewelry Rising Star award for Paola Sasplugas
Events & AwardsApr 23, 2025
PDPaola Creative Director Wins FGI’s ‘Rising Star’ Award

Paola Sasplugas, co-founder of the Barcelona-based jewelry brand, received the Fine Jewelry Award.

1999 Cosmograph Daytona, Ref.16516
AuctionsApr 23, 2025
Rare Custom Rolex Daytona Heads to Auction

A platinum Zenith-powered Daytona commissioned in the late ‘90s will headline Sotheby’s Important Watches sale in Geneva next month.

Carmelo Anthony and Jaylen Brown David Yurman campaign
MajorsApr 23, 2025
David Yurman’s New Campaign Stars Carmelo Anthony, Jaylen Brown

The basketball stars wear men’s jewelry from the “Curb Chain” collection.

Woman wearing Zales jewelry
MajorsApr 22, 2025
Zales’ Rebrand Takes Playful Approach to Fine Jewelry

The Signet Jewelers-owned retailer wants to encourage younger shoppers to wear fine jewelry every day, not just on special occasions.

JAR Apricot Blossom bracelet
AuctionsApr 22, 2025
Christie’s to Auction JAR Jewelry Collection

The 21 pieces, all from a private collector, will be offered at its Magnificent Jewels auction next month.

Avi Levy
GradingApr 22, 2025
Avi Levy Is GCAL By Sarine’s New Chief Growth Officer

GCAL by Sarine created the new role to sharpen the company’s focus on strategic partnerships and scalable expansion.

Scottsdale Fine Jewelers store exterior
IndependentsApr 22, 2025
Brinker’s Jewelers Acquires Fellow Independent

The Indiana jeweler has acquired Scottsdale Fine Jewelers in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Cartier Exhibition Installation at Victoria & Albert Museum
Events & AwardsApr 21, 2025
An Exhibition Exploring the History of Cartier Is Now on Display

“Cartier: Design, Craft, and Legacy” opened earlier this month at the Victoria and Albert Museum in London.

Bill and Birdie Levine of Van Cott Jewelers
IndependentsApr 21, 2025
New York Jeweler to Close After 111 Years

Van Cott Jewelers in Vestal, New York, is hosting a going-out-of-business sale.

IJO Director Samantha Larson
IndependentsApr 21, 2025
IJO Names New Director of Vendor Relations, Merchandise Strategy

Industry veteran Samantha Larson has held leadership roles at Borsheims, McTeigue & McClelland, Stuller, and Long’s Jewelers.

Events & AwardsApr 21, 2025
Jewelers of Louisiana, Mississippi Jewelers Association to Co-Host Convention

The two organizations will hold the educational event together this fall in Mississippi.

Daymond John
Events & AwardsApr 18, 2025
Daymond John to Give Keynote at JCK Las Vegas

The entrepreneur and “Shark Tank” star will share his top tips for success.

Dukachi Easter Bread Pendant
CollectionsApr 18, 2025
Piece of the Week: Dukachi’s ‘Easter Bread’ Pendant

The Ukrainian brand’s new pendant is modeled after a traditional paska, a pastry often baked for Easter in Eastern European cultures.

Bremer Jewelry
IndependentsApr 18, 2025
Bremer Jewelry to Reveal Renovated Store

The jeweler has announced a grand reopening for its recently remodeled location in Peoria, Illinois.

Tiffany & Co. Strong Like Mom campaign
MajorsApr 18, 2025
Tiffany & Co. Employees Star in Mother’s Day Campaign

The “Strong Like Mom” campaign features moms who work at Tiffany & Co. and their children.

Athena Calderone x John Hardy Collection
CollectionsApr 17, 2025
John Hardy, Athena Calderone Partner on Art Deco Decor-Inspired Collection

Interior designer Athena Calderone looked to decor from the 1920s and 1930s when crafting her first fine jewelry collection.

Movado Connect 2.0 watches
FinancialsApr 17, 2025
Movado Group to Increase Prices to Offset Tariffs Impact

During a call about its full-year results, CEO Efraim Grinberg discussed how the company is approaching the uncertainty surrounding tariffs.

Natural Diamond Council Diamond Learning Center Graphic
Lab-GrownApr 17, 2025
NDC Launches Its Diamond Learning Center

The free program provides educational content for jewelry salespeople and enthusiasts to learn or refresh their diamond knowledge.

×

This site uses cookies to give you the best online experience. By continuing to use & browse this site, we assume you agree to our Privacy Policy