ColumnistsJun 20, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Not Head-Counting Is a Head ScratcherColumnistsAug 29, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much
Peter Smith mines the psychology of disgust for insight on the messages we communicate through body language.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
Psychologist Paul Rozin noted that a single cockroach can wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a lone cherry will have no effect at all in making a bowl of cockroaches more appealing.
Rozin should know; he is an expert on disgust. Yep, you read that correctly. He is an esteemed professor at the University of Pennsylvania where he teaches honors courses and post-graduate seminars on the psychology of disgust.
I feel like I’d have a distinct advantage as a student in one of Rozin’s classes. All I would need is boiling cabbage or any dish served with the eyes of the unwittingly sacrificed still intact. Aced!
He, of course, was speaking to our tendency to default to the negative even when there is ample evidence of positives to be found.
In the case of the single cockroach, we could of course extract the offending insect and wash the bowl of cherries, but would we? Or would we dump the whole offensive mess into the garbage?
Rozin’s work suggests the latter is more likely, as the negative is what stands out about the experience.
Business has more in common with the professor’s proverbial bowl of cherries than we might think.
You strive to provide outstanding customer experiences and believe you always do so, and yet it takes one very small hiccup to have a customer decide to dump the whole mess in the bin.
If you are lucky, the offended customer will share their unsatisfying experience and give you the opportunity to rectify the situation.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The customer sometimes leaves your business resolving to go quietly (or not, as is often the case) into that dark night and find another business to frequent thereafter.
My wife and I recently enjoyed the rare luxury of a breakfast out. When we checked in with the hostess at the restaurant she greeted us with good energy, and the right words.
The problem was, she didn’t look at us when she greeted us, or when she asked the obvious, “Are you guys joining us for breakfast?”
I mean, jeez, how did she even know? We could have been two plumbers showing up to fix a burst pipe, or exterminators looking for cockroaches in the cherries.
Despite her eye-contact-avoiding behavior she was otherwise friendly, not always a given in service businesses or retail stores.
The breakfast itself was imperfectly fine, but what lingered afterwards was the strange behavior of the host.
I wondered what she would have said if I had pointed out the disconnect between what she thought she was communicating and what she really was communicating.
“We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.”
In Albert Mehrabian’s research, he concluded that communication is 7 percent words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent non-verbal.
The host had done a fine job on the words and even tone of voice.
What she missed, however, was the 55 percent, the non-verbal. Her lack of eye contact suggested indifference on her part, and a lack of training on the part of the hotel and restaurant.
Getting the non-verbals right is more than intent, it is a function of awareness and repetition. We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.
That includes the following.
— Eye contact. As basic as it seems, we must ensure that we are making eye contact with our customers. That means holding your contact for about four seconds, or at least until the end of a thought or expression.
— Open Body Language. Open your body to the customer when greeting them. It’s not a good idea to be reaching for something or other in a case or drawer or looking sideways as you work on paperwork or some other task.
— Distracted Listening. Distracted listening is a real danger to a shared experience. If you are talking to a customer and you look away it sends a signal of indifference to your customer. Be completely present and apologize if you need to break your attention for a moment.
— Smile. Offer a sincere smile, not one designed for the red carpet, where it often comes across as a chore. If you enjoy people, smiling when you meet one ought to be a pleasant experience. If it too often feels forced, you might just be the cockroach in the bowl of cherries.
— Active Hands. Use your hands when you are communicating. Don’t hide them, put them in your pockets, or keep them screened below the showcase. Active hands, with palms visible as often as possible, has a powerful impact on connecting two strangers in a way that feels very safe.
I hope these few tips help you improve your sales performance and avoid unwittingly signaling to your customers that you’d rather be doing something else.
Always glad to hear from you if you have feedback. You can reach me at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com or on LinkedIn.
More on Columnists
The Latest
AuctionsSep 17, 2025
Mythical Set of Patek Philippe Pocket Watches Expected to Sell for $10M+A set of four Patek Philippe “Star Caliber 2000” pocket watches is part of Sotheby’s upcoming auction in Abu Dhabi.
TrendsSep 17, 2025
Silvia Furmanovich’s Book Tells the ‘Journey of a Jeweler’The Brazilian jeweler’s latest book marks her namesake brand’s 25th anniversary and tells the tale of her worldwide collaborations.
WatchesSep 17, 2025
Bob’s Watches Acquires Vintage Rolex Won on ‘The Price is Right’ The Submariner Ref. 1680 with a Tiffany & Co. dial came from the original owner, who won it as a prize on the game show in the 1970s.
Brought to you by
reDollar.com Is Rolling Out the Next Level Jewelry, Diamond & Watch Consignment ProgramWith their unmatched services and low fees, reDollar.com is challenging some big names in the online consignment world.
TechnologySep 17, 2025
Jewelers Mutual Launches Shipping Solution App for Shopify The new integration allows users to manage shipments directly from the Shopify dashboard.
Weekly QuizSep 12, 2025
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
EditorsSep 16, 2025
Out & About: 7 Great Quotes From Converge in CarlsbadAt Converge 2025, Editor-in-Chief Michelle Graff attended sessions on DEI, tariffs, security, and more. Here are her top takeaways.
CrimeSep 16, 2025
2 Robbery Suspects Killed in California Pawn Shop ShootoutSix people were shot last week at an Oakland cash-for-gold shop as employees exchanged gunfire with individuals trying to rob the store.
Brought to you by
Rallying Call for the Jewelry Industry on Tariffs and Other Key IssuesJewelers of America is leading the charge to protect the industry amidst rising economic threats.
CollectionsSep 16, 2025
Chopard Adds New Designs to Its ‘Ice Cube’ Capsule CollectionThe jeweler has expanded its high jewelry offering, which launched last year, with new pieces featuring its cube motif that debuted in 1999.
SourcingSep 16, 2025
Natural Diamond Council Launches Retailer Accreditation ProgramBen Bridge Jeweler and Lux Bond & Green were a part of the pilot program.
EditorsSep 15, 2025
Skipping the Necklace, Embracing Snakes: The Best Jewelry From the 2025 Emmy AwardsAssociate Editor Natalie Francisco shares eight of her favorite jewelry looks from the 77th annual Primetime Emmy Awards, held Sunday night.
SurveysSep 15, 2025
Resilient Shoppers to Boost Holiday Retail Sales, Says DeloitteIt’s predicting a rise in retail sales this holiday season despite economic uncertainty and elevated inflation.
SourcingSep 15, 2025
Gemfields Achieves $32M at High-Quality Emerald AuctionIt included the sale of the 11,685-carat “Imboo” emerald that was recently discovered at Kagem.
SourcingSep 15, 2025
AGTA Elects 8 Members to Board of Directors The newly elected directors will officially take office in February 2026 and will be introduced at the organization’s membership meeting.
EditorsSep 12, 2025
Out & About: Mining Sapphires in Rock Creek, MontanaAssociate Editor Lauren McLemore headed out West for a visit to Potentate Mining’s operation hosted by gemstone wholesaler Parlé Gems.
TrendsSep 12, 2025
Piece of the Week: Arunashi’s Fordite and Rhodolite EarringsFordite is a man-made material created from the layers of dried enamel paint that dripped onto the floors of automotive factories.
Events & AwardsSep 12, 2025
Al Gilbertson Wins 2025 Robert M. Shipley AwardGilbertson has worked as a researcher, jeweler, lapidary artist, appraiser, and business owner throughout his decades in the industry.
Policies & IssuesSep 11, 2025
Supreme Court to Hear Tariffs Case in November A decision likely won’t come until January 2026 at the earliest, and the tariffs remain in effect until then.
MajorsSep 11, 2025
Tabayer Opens Nordstrom Shop-In-ShopLocated in the revamped jewelry hall at the retailer’s New York City flagship, this opening is Tabayer’s first shop-in-shop.
SourcingSep 11, 2025
Need to Sell More Natural Diamonds? De Beers Has an App for ThatThe new, free app offers accessible educational content, like games and podcasts, for U.S. retailers.
MajorsSep 10, 2025
Stuller to Swap Gold Scrap for Full Credit to AccountAs the gold price rises, the manufacturer is offering a 100 percent payout through Sept. 30 for gold clean scrap.
SourcingSep 10, 2025
Tech Meets Style in the New Loewe x Jacob & Co. HeadphonesJacob & Co. partnered with the German technology company on two pairs of headphones, one set with diamonds and the other with sapphires.
TrendsSep 10, 2025
Tiffany & Co. Archival Jewels Bring Life to ‘Frankenstein’Guillermo del Toro’s 2025 “Frankenstein” will feature 27 jewels and objects from the storied brand, including pieces from its archives.
MajorsSep 10, 2025
24 Karat Club of New York’s Banquet to Return to Waldorf AstoriaThe Waldorf Astoria New York’s grand reopening this past summer means a homecoming for the industry group’s annual event.
SourcingSep 09, 2025
Anglo American to Merge With Canadian Copper Miner Anglo plans to merge with Teck Resources Ltd. to form Anglo Teck. The deal changes nothing about its plans to offload De Beers.
AuctionsSep 09, 2025
‘The Mellon Blue’ to Return to Auction, This Time at Christie’s The 9.51-carat fancy vivid blue diamond, which set two world auction records at Sotheby’s in 2014, is estimated to fetch up to $30 million.
AuctionsSep 09, 2025
Phillips Names Dianne Batista Head of Jewels, New YorkThe industry veteran joins the auction house as it looks to solidify its footprint in the jewelry market.
