ColumnistsJun 20, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Not Head-Counting Is a Head ScratcherColumnistsAug 29, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much
Peter Smith mines the psychology of disgust for insight on the messages we communicate through body language.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
Psychologist Paul Rozin noted that a single cockroach can wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a lone cherry will have no effect at all in making a bowl of cockroaches more appealing.
Rozin should know; he is an expert on disgust. Yep, you read that correctly. He is an esteemed professor at the University of Pennsylvania where he teaches honors courses and post-graduate seminars on the psychology of disgust.
I feel like I’d have a distinct advantage as a student in one of Rozin’s classes. All I would need is boiling cabbage or any dish served with the eyes of the unwittingly sacrificed still intact. Aced!
He, of course, was speaking to our tendency to default to the negative even when there is ample evidence of positives to be found.
In the case of the single cockroach, we could of course extract the offending insect and wash the bowl of cherries, but would we? Or would we dump the whole offensive mess into the garbage?
Rozin’s work suggests the latter is more likely, as the negative is what stands out about the experience.
Business has more in common with the professor’s proverbial bowl of cherries than we might think.
You strive to provide outstanding customer experiences and believe you always do so, and yet it takes one very small hiccup to have a customer decide to dump the whole mess in the bin.
If you are lucky, the offended customer will share their unsatisfying experience and give you the opportunity to rectify the situation.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The customer sometimes leaves your business resolving to go quietly (or not, as is often the case) into that dark night and find another business to frequent thereafter.
My wife and I recently enjoyed the rare luxury of a breakfast out. When we checked in with the hostess at the restaurant she greeted us with good energy, and the right words.
The problem was, she didn’t look at us when she greeted us, or when she asked the obvious, “Are you guys joining us for breakfast?”
I mean, jeez, how did she even know? We could have been two plumbers showing up to fix a burst pipe, or exterminators looking for cockroaches in the cherries.
Despite her eye-contact-avoiding behavior she was otherwise friendly, not always a given in service businesses or retail stores.
The breakfast itself was imperfectly fine, but what lingered afterwards was the strange behavior of the host.
I wondered what she would have said if I had pointed out the disconnect between what she thought she was communicating and what she really was communicating.
“We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.”
In Albert Mehrabian’s research, he concluded that communication is 7 percent words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent non-verbal.
The host had done a fine job on the words and even tone of voice.
What she missed, however, was the 55 percent, the non-verbal. Her lack of eye contact suggested indifference on her part, and a lack of training on the part of the hotel and restaurant.
Getting the non-verbals right is more than intent, it is a function of awareness and repetition. We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.
That includes the following.
— Eye contact. As basic as it seems, we must ensure that we are making eye contact with our customers. That means holding your contact for about four seconds, or at least until the end of a thought or expression.
— Open Body Language. Open your body to the customer when greeting them. It’s not a good idea to be reaching for something or other in a case or drawer or looking sideways as you work on paperwork or some other task.
— Distracted Listening. Distracted listening is a real danger to a shared experience. If you are talking to a customer and you look away it sends a signal of indifference to your customer. Be completely present and apologize if you need to break your attention for a moment.
— Smile. Offer a sincere smile, not one designed for the red carpet, where it often comes across as a chore. If you enjoy people, smiling when you meet one ought to be a pleasant experience. If it too often feels forced, you might just be the cockroach in the bowl of cherries.
— Active Hands. Use your hands when you are communicating. Don’t hide them, put them in your pockets, or keep them screened below the showcase. Active hands, with palms visible as often as possible, has a powerful impact on connecting two strangers in a way that feels very safe.
I hope these few tips help you improve your sales performance and avoid unwittingly signaling to your customers that you’d rather be doing something else.
Always glad to hear from you if you have feedback. You can reach me at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com or on LinkedIn.
More on Columnists
The Latest
CollectionsJan 14, 2026
Marie Lichtenberg Lassos Leather for New BraceletsThe brand is trading its colorful fabric cords for Italian leather in its “Lasso” baby locket bracelets.
TechnologyJan 14, 2026
“My Next Question” Enters Its Podcast Era National Jeweler and Jewelers of America’s popular webinar series is evolving in 2026.
MajorsJan 14, 2026
Saks Files for Bankruptcy, Names New CEOThe department store chain owes millions to creditors like David Yurman, Roberto Coin, Kering, and LVMH.
Brought to you by
How Jewelers Can Fight Back Against Cell JammersCriminals are using cell jammers to disable alarms, but new technology like JamAlert™ can stop them.
CollectionsJan 14, 2026
Boucheron Names Colman Domingo as Brand AmbassadorThe award-winning actor’s visionary approach and creativity echo the spirit of Boucheron, the brand said.
Weekly QuizJan 08, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
IndependentsJan 14, 2026
Kansas Jeweler Wins 2025 ‘Wag’ AwardEdge Retail Academy honored Burnell’s Fine Jewelry in Wichita, Kansas, with its annual award for business excellence.
IndependentsJan 13, 2026
Orr’s Jewelers Opens New Location in Pittsburgh’s Strip DistrictThe family-owned jeweler’s new space is in a former wholesale produce market.
Brought to you by
Impacting Tomorrow TodayHow Jewelers of America’s 20 Under 40 are leading to ensure a brighter future for the jewelry industry.
CrimeJan 13, 2026
Alleged Getaway Driver Charged in Florida Jewelry Store RobberyIvel Sanchez Rivera, 52, has been arrested and charged in connection with the armed robbery of Tio Jewelers in Cape Coral, Florida.
SourcingJan 13, 2026
Rio Grande To Offer Calibrated Diamond MeleeThe supplier’s online program allows customers to search and buy calibrated natural and lab-grown diamond melee, including in fancy shapes.
Events & AwardsJan 13, 2026
NYC Jewelry, Antique, & Object Show Announces Winter EventThe new show will take place Jan. 23-25, 2026.
PodcastsJan 12, 2026
Introducing My Next Question, the PodcastA monthly podcast series for jewelry professionals
EditorsJan 12, 2026
Platinum, White Gold Rule the 2026 Golden GlobesAssociate Editor Natalie Francisco highlights her favorite jewelry moments from the Golden Globes, and they are (mostly) white hot.
GradingJan 12, 2026
Peter Yantzer, Former Executive Director of AGS Labs, Dies at 77 Yantzer is remembered for the profound influence he had on diamond cut grading as well as his contagious smile and quick wit.
MajorsJan 12, 2026
These 14 Macy’s Locations Will Close This YearThe store closures are part of the retailer’s “Bold New Chapter” turnaround plan.
MajorsJan 12, 2026
Jewelers Mutual Acquires AI-Powered Event Insurance ProgramThrough EventGuard, the company will offer event liability and cancellation insurance, including wedding coverage.
MajorsJan 09, 2026
Kendra Scott Taps Activewear Exec as CEO Chris Blakeslee has experience at Athleta and Alo Yoga. Kendra Scott will remain on board as executive chair and chief visionary officer.
SurveysJan 09, 2026
U.S. Holiday Retail Sales Up 4%, Visa, Mastercard SayThe credit card companies’ surveys examined where consumers shopped, what they bought, and what they valued this holiday season.
AuctionsJan 09, 2026
Christie’s Names New Global Managing Director for LuxuryKimberly Miller has been promoted to the role.
CollectionsJan 09, 2026
Piece of the Week: Lionheart’s ‘Serenity’ Opal CharmThe “Serenity” charm set with 13 opals is a modern amulet offering protection, guidance, and intention, the brand said.
CollectionsJan 08, 2026
Pandora’s New ‘Bridgerton’ Jewels Celebrate Bees, Bows, and Blooms“Bridgerton” actresses Hannah Dodd and Claudia Jessie star in the brand’s “Rules to Love By” campaign.
Events & AwardsJan 08, 2026
Ana Khouri To Receive 2026 Gem Award for High Jewelry ExcellenceFounded by jeweler and sculptor Ana Khouri, the brand is “expanding the boundaries of what high jewelry can be.”
TrendsJan 08, 2026
Stuller’s Color of the Year Is a Stark Contrast to Pantone’s WhiteThe jewelry manufacturer and supplier is going with a fiery shade it says symbolizes power and transformation.
CollectionsJan 08, 2026
Gracie Abrams To Front New Chanel Jewelry CampaignThe singer-songwriter will make her debut as the French luxury brand’s new ambassador in a campaign for its “Coco Crush” jewelry line.
MajorsJan 08, 2026
Diamond Council of America Names New Board DirectorsThe nonprofit’s new president and CEO, Annie Doresca, also began her role this month.
Events & AwardsJan 07, 2026
Melee Adds 13 New Designers to NYC ShowThe trade show is slated for Jan. 31-Feb. 2 at The Lighthouse in New York City's Chelsea neighborhood.
TrendsJan 07, 2026
Amanda’s Style File: Go for GarnetJanuary’s birthstone comes in a rainbow of colors, from the traditional red to orange, purple, and green.
