ColumnistsJun 20, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Not Head-Counting Is a Head ScratcherColumnistsAug 29, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much
Peter Smith mines the psychology of disgust for insight on the messages we communicate through body language.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
Psychologist Paul Rozin noted that a single cockroach can wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a lone cherry will have no effect at all in making a bowl of cockroaches more appealing.
Rozin should know; he is an expert on disgust. Yep, you read that correctly. He is an esteemed professor at the University of Pennsylvania where he teaches honors courses and post-graduate seminars on the psychology of disgust.
I feel like I’d have a distinct advantage as a student in one of Rozin’s classes. All I would need is boiling cabbage or any dish served with the eyes of the unwittingly sacrificed still intact. Aced!
He, of course, was speaking to our tendency to default to the negative even when there is ample evidence of positives to be found.
In the case of the single cockroach, we could of course extract the offending insect and wash the bowl of cherries, but would we? Or would we dump the whole offensive mess into the garbage?
Rozin’s work suggests the latter is more likely, as the negative is what stands out about the experience.
Business has more in common with the professor’s proverbial bowl of cherries than we might think.
You strive to provide outstanding customer experiences and believe you always do so, and yet it takes one very small hiccup to have a customer decide to dump the whole mess in the bin.
If you are lucky, the offended customer will share their unsatisfying experience and give you the opportunity to rectify the situation.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The customer sometimes leaves your business resolving to go quietly (or not, as is often the case) into that dark night and find another business to frequent thereafter.
My wife and I recently enjoyed the rare luxury of a breakfast out. When we checked in with the hostess at the restaurant she greeted us with good energy, and the right words.
The problem was, she didn’t look at us when she greeted us, or when she asked the obvious, “Are you guys joining us for breakfast?”
I mean, jeez, how did she even know? We could have been two plumbers showing up to fix a burst pipe, or exterminators looking for cockroaches in the cherries.
Despite her eye-contact-avoiding behavior she was otherwise friendly, not always a given in service businesses or retail stores.
The breakfast itself was imperfectly fine, but what lingered afterwards was the strange behavior of the host.
I wondered what she would have said if I had pointed out the disconnect between what she thought she was communicating and what she really was communicating.
“We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.”
In Albert Mehrabian’s research, he concluded that communication is 7 percent words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent non-verbal.
The host had done a fine job on the words and even tone of voice.
What she missed, however, was the 55 percent, the non-verbal. Her lack of eye contact suggested indifference on her part, and a lack of training on the part of the hotel and restaurant.
Getting the non-verbals right is more than intent, it is a function of awareness and repetition. We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.
That includes the following.
— Eye contact. As basic as it seems, we must ensure that we are making eye contact with our customers. That means holding your contact for about four seconds, or at least until the end of a thought or expression.
— Open Body Language. Open your body to the customer when greeting them. It’s not a good idea to be reaching for something or other in a case or drawer or looking sideways as you work on paperwork or some other task.
— Distracted Listening. Distracted listening is a real danger to a shared experience. If you are talking to a customer and you look away it sends a signal of indifference to your customer. Be completely present and apologize if you need to break your attention for a moment.
— Smile. Offer a sincere smile, not one designed for the red carpet, where it often comes across as a chore. If you enjoy people, smiling when you meet one ought to be a pleasant experience. If it too often feels forced, you might just be the cockroach in the bowl of cherries.
— Active Hands. Use your hands when you are communicating. Don’t hide them, put them in your pockets, or keep them screened below the showcase. Active hands, with palms visible as often as possible, has a powerful impact on connecting two strangers in a way that feels very safe.
I hope these few tips help you improve your sales performance and avoid unwittingly signaling to your customers that you’d rather be doing something else.
Always glad to hear from you if you have feedback. You can reach me at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com or on LinkedIn.
More on Columnists
The Latest
IndependentsFeb 19, 2026
Bailey’s Fine Jewelry Co-Founder ‘Mama Ann’ Bailey Dies at 100Raised in an orphanage, Bailey was 18 when she met her husband, Clyde. They opened their North Carolina jewelry store in 1948.
IndependentsFeb 19, 2026
Material Good Opens Third Location Material Good is celebrating its 10th anniversary as it opens its new store in the Back Bay neighborhood of Boston.
Events & AwardsFeb 19, 2026
The Original Miami Beach Antique Show Returns in MarchThe show will be held March 26-30 at the Miami Beach Convention Center.
Brought to you by
The MJSA Mentor & Apprenticeship Program: Attracting & Training the Next Generation of Bench JewelersLaunched in 2023, the program will help the passing of knowledge between generations and alleviate the shortage of bench jewelers.
AuctionsFeb 18, 2026
Joanna Carson’s Jewels Head to AuctionThe estate of the model, philanthropist, and ex-wife of Johnny Carson has signed statement jewels up for sale at John Moran Auctioneers.
Weekly QuizFeb 12, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
PodcastsFeb 18, 2026
Episode 2: Jewelry Trends & Does the Red Carpet Matter?Are arm bands poised to make a comeback? Has red-carpet jewelry become boring? Find out on the second episode of the “My Next Question” podcast.
MajorsFeb 18, 2026
Select Jewelry Inks Agreement to Distribute Lightweight Gold JewelryIt will lead distribution in North America for Graziella Braccialini's new gold pieces, which it said are 50 percent lighter.
Brought to you by
How Jewelers Can Fight Back Against Cell JammersCriminals are using cell jammers to disable alarms, but new technology like JamAlert™ can stop them.
Policies & IssuesFeb 18, 2026
Community for Ethical Jewelry Looks for Executive DirectorThe organization is seeking a new executive director to lead it into its next phase of strategic growth and industry influence.
Events & AwardsFeb 18, 2026
DCA to Host Gemstone Selling Education Session at IJO EventThe nonprofit will present a live, two-hour introductory course on building confidence when selling colored gemstones.
TrendsFeb 17, 2026
A Bit of Jewelry for the Year of the HorseWestern wear continues to trend in the Year of the Fire Horse and along with it, horse and horseshoe motifs in jewelry.
SourcingFeb 17, 2026
Colored Gemstone Experts Talk Tariffs, Trends in TucsonAlthough the market is robust, tariffs and precious metal prices are impacting the industry, Stuart Robertson and Brecken Branstrator said.
GradingFeb 17, 2026
Dr. George Rossman, Former GIA Governor, Dies at 81Rossman, who advised GIA for more than 50 years, is remembered for his passion and dedication to the field of gemology.
CrimeFeb 13, 2026
JSA Offering $10K Reward in Nancy Guthrie Case Guthrie, the mother of “Today” show host Savannah Guthrie, was abducted just as the Tucson gem shows were starting.
IndependentsFeb 13, 2026
97-Year-Old New Mexico Jewelry Store To CloseButterfield Jewelers in Albuquerque, New Mexico, is preparing to close as members of the Butterfield family head into retirement.
CollectionsFeb 13, 2026
A ‘Rosebud’ Necklace for Valentine’s DayPaul Morelli’s “Rosebud” necklace, our Piece of the Week, uses 18-karat rose, green, and white gold to turn the symbol of love into jewelry.
MajorsFeb 13, 2026
JFC Announces New BeneficiariesThe nonprofit has welcomed four new grantees for 2026.
MajorsFeb 12, 2026
These 8 Saks Fifth Avenue Stores Are ClosingParent company Saks Global is also closing nearly all Saks Off 5th locations, a Neiman Marcus store, and 14 personal styling suites.
CollectionsFeb 12, 2026
British Museum Raises $5M to Keep Jewel Linked to Henry VIII, Katherine of AragonIt is believed the 24-karat heart-shaped enameled pendant was made for an event marking the betrothal of Princess Mary in 1518.
SourcingFeb 12, 2026
‘Cotton Candy’ Necklace, 35-Carat Kunzite Win 2025 ‘Buyer’s Choice’ AwardsThe AGTA Spectrum and Cutting Edge “Buyer’s Choice” award winners were announced at the Spectrum Awards Gala last week.
Events & AwardsFeb 12, 2026
Kering Opens Entries for 2026 Sustainability-Focused AwardThe “Kering Generation Award x Jewelry” returns for its second year with “Second Chance, First Choice” as its theme.
TrendsFeb 11, 2026
Halle Berry’s Retro Engagement Ring Is a Sapphire-Set StunnerSourced by For Future Reference Vintage, the yellow gold ring has a round center stone surrounded by step-cut sapphires.
MajorsFeb 11, 2026
Francesca’s Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy AgainThe clothing and accessories chain announced last month it would be closing all of its stores.
CollectionsFeb 11, 2026
Zales Turns Sweethearts Into Jewelry for Valentine’s Day CollectionThe “Zales x Sweethearts” collection features three mystery heart charms engraved with classic sayings seen on the Valentine’s Day candies.
TechnologyFeb 11, 2026
Gemvision Symposium 2026 Slated for AprilThe event will include panel discussions, hands-on demonstrations of new digital manufacturing tools, and a jewelry design contest.
Events & AwardsFeb 11, 2026
TJS Announces Roundtable, Launches New AppRegistration is now open for The Jewelry Symposium, set to take place in Detroit from May 16-19.
SourcingFeb 10, 2026
At Meeting in South Africa, Support for Natural Diamonds Picks Up Steam Namibia has formally signed the Luanda Accord, while two key industry organizations pledged to join the Natural Diamond Council.
