Columnists

Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much

ColumnistsAug 29, 2023

Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much

Peter Smith mines the psychology of disgust for insight on the messages we communicate through body language.

National Jeweler columnist Peter Smith
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
Psychologist Paul Rozin noted that a single cockroach can wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a lone cherry will have no effect at all in making a bowl of cockroaches more appealing.  
 
Rozin should know; he is an expert on disgust. Yep, you read that correctly. He is an esteemed professor at the University of Pennsylvania where he teaches honors courses and post-graduate seminars on the psychology of disgust.  

I feel like I’d have a distinct advantage as a student in one of Rozin’s classes. All I would need is boiling cabbage or any dish served with the eyes of the unwittingly sacrificed still intact. Aced!  
 
He, of course, was speaking to our tendency to default to the negative even when there is ample evidence of positives to be found.  
 
In the case of the single cockroach, we could of course extract the offending insect and wash the bowl of cherries, but would we? Or would we dump the whole offensive mess into the garbage?  
 
Rozin’s work suggests the latter is more likely, as the negative is what stands out about the experience.  
 
Business has more in common with the professor’s proverbial bowl of cherries than we might think.  
 
You strive to provide outstanding customer experiences and believe you always do so, and yet it takes one very small hiccup to have a customer decide to dump the whole mess in the bin.  
 
If you are lucky, the offended customer will share their unsatisfying experience and give you the opportunity to rectify the situation.  
 
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The customer sometimes leaves your business resolving to go quietly (or not, as is often the case) into that dark night and find another business to frequent thereafter.  
 
 Related stories will be right here … 
 
My wife and I recently enjoyed the rare luxury of a breakfast out. When we checked in with the hostess at the restaurant she greeted us with good energy, and the right words.  
 
The problem was, she didn’t look at us when she greeted us, or when she asked the obvious, “Are you guys joining us for breakfast?”  
 
I mean, jeez, how did she even know? We could have been two plumbers showing up to fix a burst pipe, or exterminators looking for cockroaches in the cherries. 
 
Despite her eye-contact-avoiding behavior she was otherwise friendly, not always a given in service businesses or retail stores.  
 
The breakfast itself was imperfectly fine, but what lingered afterwards was the strange behavior of the host.  
 
I wondered what she would have said if I had pointed out the disconnect between what she thought she was communicating and what she really was communicating. 
 
“We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.” 
 
In Albert Mehrabian’s research, he concluded that communication is 7 percent words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent non-verbal.  
 
The host had done a fine job on the words and even tone of voice.  
 
What she missed, however, was the 55 percent, the non-verbal. Her lack of eye contact suggested indifference on her part, and a lack of training on the part of the hotel and restaurant.  
 
Getting the non-verbals right is more than intent, it is a function of awareness and repetition. We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.  
 
That includes the following. 
 
Eye contact. As basic as it seems, we must ensure that we are making eye contact with our customers. That means holding your contact for about four seconds, or at least until the end of a thought or expression. 
 
Open Body Language. Open your body to the customer when greeting them. It’s not a good idea to be reaching for something or other in a case or drawer or looking sideways as you work on paperwork or some other task. 
 
Distracted Listening. Distracted listening is a real danger to a shared experience. If you are talking to a customer and you look away it sends a signal of indifference to your customer. Be completely present and apologize if you need to break your attention for a moment.   
 
Smile. Offer a sincere smile, not one designed for the red carpet, where it often comes across as a chore. If you enjoy people, smiling when you meet one ought to be a pleasant experience. If it too often feels forced, you might just be the cockroach in the bowl of cherries.  
 
Active Hands. Use your hands when you are communicating. Don’t hide them, put them in your pockets, or keep them screened below the showcase. Active hands, with palms visible as often as possible, has a powerful impact on connecting two strangers in a way that feels very safe.  
 
I hope these few tips help you improve your sales performance and avoid unwittingly signaling to your customers that you’d rather be doing something else. 
 
Always glad to hear from you if you have feedback. You can reach me at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com or on LinkedIn

The Latest

Jemma Wynne Forme Toggle Necklace
CollectionsJul 25, 2025
Piece of the Week: Jemma Wynne’s ‘Forme’ Necklace

Anne Hathaway was seen wearing the toggle necklace three times while filming scenes for “The Devil Wears Prada 2.”

September Hong Kong jewelry show
Events & AwardsJul 25, 2025
Pre-Registration Open for September Hong Kong Show

Jewellery & Gem World Hong Kong is scheduled for Sept. 15 to 21, and buyer pre-registration will be available until Sept. 7.

Bulgari Celestial Mosaic spinel necklace
FinancialsJul 25, 2025
LVMH Sales Slip in H1 Amid ‘Prevailing Uncertainties’

Renovations at Tiffany & Co. stores ate into profits in the company’s watch and jewelry division.

rio-article photo-diamond.jpg
Brought to you by
Taking the Moment Head On: How Rio Grande Champions the Present & Future of Fine Jewelry

As a leading global jewelry supplier, Rio Grande is rapidly expanding and developing new solutions to meet the needs of jewelers worldwide.

Mark and Candy Udell
Events & AwardsJul 24, 2025
2 Retailers to Receive 2026 Gem Award for Lifetime Achievement

Mark and Candy Udell of London Jewelers will receive the honor at the 24th annual Gem Awards next March.

Weekly QuizJul 25, 2025
This Week’s Quiz
Test your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Take the Quiz
De Beers marine mining vessel the SS Nujoma
SourcingJul 24, 2025
De Beers Sees Diamond Production Sink 36% in Q2

While struggles continue at the mining and trading end of the pipeline, consumer demand for diamond jewelry is holding steady.

Francesca Villa Fantasia Collection The Crab Pendant, The Mermaid Pendant, Keep Dancing Seahorse Pendant, Keep Dancing Ladybug Pendant, Secret Dreams Pendant, The Puffer Fish Takes Flight Pendant
CollectionsJul 24, 2025
Francesca Villa Adds Dimension to Her Intaglio Characters

The “Fantasia” jewelry collection turns the intaglio animals from her “Close Encounters” collection into 3D characters.

an instructor and a student in a bench jewelry classroom
Brought to you by
Investing in the Next Generation of Bench Jewelers

The Seymour & Evelyn Holtzman Bench Scholarship from Jewelers of America returns for a second year.

Breitling’s special Eagles Super Bowl watch on gold bracelet
WatchesJul 24, 2025
Breitling Drops Super Bowl Watch Honoring the Philadelphia Eagles

The special Classic Avi Chronograph 42 with an Eagles-green dial is limited to 59 pieces, a nod to the Super Bowl Philadelphia just won.

Stock image of crime scene tape
CrimeJul 23, 2025
JSA Warns of Violent String of Smash-and-Grabs in California

JSA has received reports of mobs swarming jewelry stores, driving cars into the storefront or smashing through the windows.

Silvia Furmanovich Kasmir Collection Carnelian Bracelet and Sketch
CollectionsJul 23, 2025
Silvia Furmanovich’s ‘Kashmir’ Collection Is a Tribute to Northern India

The “Kashmir” collection features centuries-old craft techniques made in collaboration with the region’s master papier-mâché artisans.

Bench jeweler holding a bracelet and a tool
IndependentsJul 23, 2025
Montreal’s Ecksand Eyes Move to SoHo

Creative Director Erica Bianchini shared why the jeweler is looking to expand into the U.S. and how it’s putting Canadian craftsmanship on the map.

LAFD Fire Station 44 and Fire Station 16
IndependentsJul 23, 2025
IJO Raises Nearly $37K for LA Fire Relief

Two Los Angeles Fire Department stations plan to use the donations to upgrade their equipment and tools.

A Vanitas by Hannah Martin and Guy Berryman Sothebys
CollectionsJul 22, 2025
Jewelry With a Rock ‘n’ Roll Aesthetic Heads to Sotheby’s London

Next week, the auction house will kick off a selling exhibition of jewelry by British artist Hannah Martin and Coldplay’s Guy Berryman.

Cover of the book “Flawless: Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History”
SourcingJul 22, 2025
Antwerp Diamond Heist Documentary Coming to Netflix

“Stolen: Heist of the Century” is based on “Flawless,” the book about the middle-of-the-night theft, and will debut on Netflix in August.

NY Now
Events & AwardsJul 22, 2025
NY Now’s Summer Market Returns in August

The wholesale trade show’s Luxury Lifestyle section will showcase established and emerging jewelry designers.

Jeweler setting a diamond into a ring
MajorsJul 21, 2025
Rio Grande Expands Personalization Offerings

As demand for custom jewelry grows, the company is expanding its services to support retailers.

National Associate of Jewelry Appraisers Logo
Events & AwardsJul 21, 2025
NAJA’s 2025 ‘Ace It’ Conference To Go Virtual

The mid-year conference for jewelry and watch appraisers is slated for Aug. 9 to 10 on Zoom.

Jacquie Aiche graduated turquoise beaded necklace
TrendsJul 21, 2025
Amanda’s Style File: Graduated With Honors

Graduated stones make for elevated tennis-style pieces and dramatic statement necklaces.

24th Gem Awards Show Logo
Events & AwardsJul 21, 2025
Gem Awards Now Accepting Nominations for 2026

Nominations in the categories of Jewelry Design, Media Excellence, and Retail Innovation will be accepted through July 30.

Lewis Heyman
MajorsJul 18, 2025
Lewis Heyman on Sourcing Gemstones, Post-Retirement Plans

He retired last month after 28 years traveling the world to source the very best gemstones for his family’s jewelry business, Oscar Heyman.

CCWW Designs Multiple Shell Charm Necklace
TrendsJul 18, 2025
Piece of the Week: CCWW Designs’ Shell Charm Necklace

The charm necklace features six nautical charms of shells and coral that founder Christina Puchi collected on Florida’s beaches.

The Plumb Club board members
MajorsJul 18, 2025
Plumb Club Elects New Board Members

The organization elected its youngest vice president as it looks to draw in fresh talent.

Jewelry industry veterans Brad Campbell and John Liebler
TechnologyJul 18, 2025
Brad Campbell, John Liebler Join Clientbook’s Executive Team

Campbell joins the company as vice president of business development while Liebler is the new vice president of operations.

Silver, Gold, and Bronze Medals for Italy Olympic Winter Games
CollectionsJul 17, 2025
2026 Winter Olympic Medal Design Symbolizes Unity

The medals feature a split-texture design highlighting the Games’ first time being hosted by two cities and the athletes’ journeys.

vimeo screenshot.png
Supplier BulletinJul 17, 2025
The INSTORE Jewelry Show 2025: Your Holiday Preparations, All Wrapped Up!

Sponsored by The INSTORE Jewelry Show 2025

Guinness
SurveysJul 17, 2025
The Most Recommended Brands in the World, According to YouGov

Globally, travel and transportation brands reigned, while in the U.S., alcoholic beverage companies and a lingerie brand took the top spots.

×

This site uses cookies to give you the best online experience. By continuing to use & browse this site, we assume you agree to our Privacy Policy