ColumnistsJun 20, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Not Head-Counting Is a Head ScratcherColumnistsAug 29, 2023
Squirrel Spotting: Non-Verbal Cues Say So Much
Peter Smith mines the psychology of disgust for insight on the messages we communicate through body language.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
Psychologist Paul Rozin noted that a single cockroach can wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries, but a lone cherry will have no effect at all in making a bowl of cockroaches more appealing.
Rozin should know; he is an expert on disgust. Yep, you read that correctly. He is an esteemed professor at the University of Pennsylvania where he teaches honors courses and post-graduate seminars on the psychology of disgust.
I feel like I’d have a distinct advantage as a student in one of Rozin’s classes. All I would need is boiling cabbage or any dish served with the eyes of the unwittingly sacrificed still intact. Aced!
He, of course, was speaking to our tendency to default to the negative even when there is ample evidence of positives to be found.
In the case of the single cockroach, we could of course extract the offending insect and wash the bowl of cherries, but would we? Or would we dump the whole offensive mess into the garbage?
Rozin’s work suggests the latter is more likely, as the negative is what stands out about the experience.
Business has more in common with the professor’s proverbial bowl of cherries than we might think.
You strive to provide outstanding customer experiences and believe you always do so, and yet it takes one very small hiccup to have a customer decide to dump the whole mess in the bin.
If you are lucky, the offended customer will share their unsatisfying experience and give you the opportunity to rectify the situation.
Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The customer sometimes leaves your business resolving to go quietly (or not, as is often the case) into that dark night and find another business to frequent thereafter.
My wife and I recently enjoyed the rare luxury of a breakfast out. When we checked in with the hostess at the restaurant she greeted us with good energy, and the right words.
The problem was, she didn’t look at us when she greeted us, or when she asked the obvious, “Are you guys joining us for breakfast?”
I mean, jeez, how did she even know? We could have been two plumbers showing up to fix a burst pipe, or exterminators looking for cockroaches in the cherries.
Despite her eye-contact-avoiding behavior she was otherwise friendly, not always a given in service businesses or retail stores.
The breakfast itself was imperfectly fine, but what lingered afterwards was the strange behavior of the host.
I wondered what she would have said if I had pointed out the disconnect between what she thought she was communicating and what she really was communicating.
“We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.”
In Albert Mehrabian’s research, he concluded that communication is 7 percent words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent non-verbal.
The host had done a fine job on the words and even tone of voice.
What she missed, however, was the 55 percent, the non-verbal. Her lack of eye contact suggested indifference on her part, and a lack of training on the part of the hotel and restaurant.
Getting the non-verbals right is more than intent, it is a function of awareness and repetition. We need to have our verbals and non-verbals align for authentic communication.
That includes the following.
— Eye contact. As basic as it seems, we must ensure that we are making eye contact with our customers. That means holding your contact for about four seconds, or at least until the end of a thought or expression.
— Open Body Language. Open your body to the customer when greeting them. It’s not a good idea to be reaching for something or other in a case or drawer or looking sideways as you work on paperwork or some other task.
— Distracted Listening. Distracted listening is a real danger to a shared experience. If you are talking to a customer and you look away it sends a signal of indifference to your customer. Be completely present and apologize if you need to break your attention for a moment.
— Smile. Offer a sincere smile, not one designed for the red carpet, where it often comes across as a chore. If you enjoy people, smiling when you meet one ought to be a pleasant experience. If it too often feels forced, you might just be the cockroach in the bowl of cherries.
— Active Hands. Use your hands when you are communicating. Don’t hide them, put them in your pockets, or keep them screened below the showcase. Active hands, with palms visible as often as possible, has a powerful impact on connecting two strangers in a way that feels very safe.
I hope these few tips help you improve your sales performance and avoid unwittingly signaling to your customers that you’d rather be doing something else.
Always glad to hear from you if you have feedback. You can reach me at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com or on LinkedIn.
More on Columnists
The Latest
MajorsMay 16, 2025
Saks Fifth Avenue, Amazon Partner on Luxury Online StorefrontPlus, parent company Saks Global announces plans to cut ties with up to 600 vendors.
Recorded WebinarsMay 16, 2025
Watch: Physical Retail Is Not DeadPeter Smith joined Michelle Graff to chat about the state of brick-and-mortar stores and share a few book and podcast recommendations.
CollectionsMay 16, 2025
Piece of the Week: Tejen’s ‘Candy Bowl’ Torque NecklaceThe necklace features a candy-colored Australian white opal in 18-karat Fairmined gold, as the brand was named a Fairmined ambassador.
Brought to you by
Las Vegas Antique Jewelry & Watch Show: Showcasing the Most Collectible Merchandise from Across the GlobeGain access to the most exclusive and coveted antique pieces from trusted dealers during Las Vegas Jewelry Week.
Supplier BulletinMay 15, 2025
Treasure Hunting at the Las Vegas Antique Jewelry and Watch ShowSponsored by the Las Vegas Antique Jewelry and Watch Show
Weekly QuizMay 15, 2025
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
AuctionsMay 15, 2025
'The Mediterranean Blue' Diamond Sells for $21M at Sotheby’sA private American collector purchased the 10-carat fancy vivid blue diamond.
CollectionsMay 15, 2025
Jessica McCormack’s ‘Fruit Salad’ Collection Is Fresh for SummerThe designer has taken the appeal of freshly picked fruit and channeled it into a capsule collection of earrings, necklaces, and pendants.
Brought to you by
Watch: The Winston Red: GIA Examines the Smithsonian’s Newest AdditionSupplier Spotlight Sponsored by GIA
SourcingMay 15, 2025
Tariffs Take Toll on India’s Gem and Jewelry Industry in April The country’s gem and jewelry exports fell 5 percent year-over-year last month, while imports declined 18 percent.
Policies & IssuesMay 15, 2025
State of Retail: How to Better Serve Customers With DisabilitiesAround 54 million Americans and counting live with a disability. Here’s how to make your jewelry store and website more accessible.
Events & AwardsMay 15, 2025
Poet Sekou Andrews to Give Closing Keynote at ConvergeThe event is also accepting poster submissions now through June 16.
Policies & IssuesMay 14, 2025
Here’s What Happened to Pope Francis’ RingBefore Pope Leo XIV was elected, a centuries-old procedure regarding the late pontiff’s ring was followed.
AuctionsMay 14, 2025
Custom Rolex Pulled From Sotheby’s SaleThe one-of-a-kind platinum Rolex Cosmograph Daytona was estimated to fetch up to $1.7 million.
Lab-GrownMay 14, 2025
State of Diamonds: What’s Next for Lab-Grown Diamonds?While the product has entrenched itself in the market, retailers and consultants are assessing the next phase of the category’s development.
CrimeMay 14, 2025
Seattle Detectives Seek Public’s Help in Tiffany & Co. Robberies The police are trying to identify the man suspected of robbing two Tiffany & Co. locations in the area.
MajorsMay 14, 2025
Jeff Corey Elected Chair of JBT Board The well-known Maine jeweler takes over for Brian Fleming and will serve a one-year term.
Policies & IssuesMay 14, 2025
Foundrae Donates $11K to Ethical MetalsmithsThe donation was the result of the brand’s annual Earth Day Ingot event.
IndependentsMay 13, 2025
Eiseman Jewels’ Renovated Dallas Store Is Bigger and BetterLocated in NorthPark Center, the revamped store is nearly 2,000 square feet larger and includes the first Tudor boutique in Dallas.
MajorsMay 13, 2025
DCA Announces New Learning Platform, Course UpdatesThe nonprofit has made updates to the content in its beginner and advanced jewelry sales courses.
MajorsMay 13, 2025
BIJC Launches New Education FundBIJC President Malyia McNaughton will shift roles to lead the new foundation, and Elyssa Jenkins-Pérez will succeed her as president.
TrendsMay 13, 2025
State of Jewelry Design: The Top 10 Jewelry Trends of the Past DecadeAs a nod to the theme of JCK Las Vegas 2025, “Decades,” National Jeweler took a look back at the top 10 jewelry trends of the past 10 years.
Lab-GrownMay 12, 2025
Lightbox to Go Dark by Summer, De Beers Says The company plans to halt all consumer-facing activity this summer, while Lightbox factory operations will cease by the end of the year.
Policies & IssuesMay 12, 2025
Tariffs on Chinese Imports Temporarily Slashed as U.S.-China Reach Deal Following weekend negotiations, the tax on Chinese goods imported into the United States will drop by 115 percent for the next 90 days.
Events & AwardsMay 12, 2025
Jewelry By Picasso, Dalí on Display at Florida Art Museum “Artists’ Jewelry: From Cubism to Pop, the Diane Venet Collection” is on view at the Norton Museum of Art through October.
Events & AwardsMay 12, 2025
CASE Awards Now Accepting Entries For 2025The deadline to submit is June 16.
IndependentsMay 09, 2025
Lugano Diamonds CEO Resigns Amid Internal InvestigationMoti Ferder stepped down Wednesday and will not receive any severance pay, parent company Compass Diversified said.
CollectionsMay 09, 2025
Pieces of the Week: Marie Lichtenberg’s Collaborations for Mother’s DayLichtenberg partnered with luxury platform Mytheresa on two designs honoring the connection between mothers and daughters.
