ColumnistsOct 22, 2024
The Smart Lab: Tips for Preparing for Your Best Q4 YetColumnistsOct 31, 2024
Peter Smith: Nervous Flyers and Emotional Selling
Whether you’re calming the jittery gentleman in seat 13B or selling a diamond ring to a hesitant customer, an empathetic approach is best.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
I spend a good deal of time sitting in airports and on planes.
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
Related stories will be right here …
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
We all too often behave as if more facts, more information, and more rationalizations inspire consumer behavior.
We are quick to summon information we think is interesting without considering what matters most to our customers.
The cherry on top of our cognition overload is a disservice to both the business and to the customer.
They didn’t come into the store for a geology lesson, or to hear about great deeds like building schools and hospitals in far-off places.
Those things are admirable, but they don’t inspire buying behavior. At best, they are after-the-fact rationalizations.
Customers buy based on emotion and are fundamentally disinclined to respond to abstractions and cognitions.
Even the sainted Mother Teresa claimed she would not have acted if she saw only the needy masses; she acted when she saw one hungry child.
We shouldn’t speak in abstractions. Instead, we must engage in a human way with the person right in front of us.
Don’t tell them what you think is interesting, ask them what matters most to them.
So, take that nervous flyer, look them in the eye, and pat their hand.
Tell them it’s not unusual to be nervous and that there are many more people like them than they could possibly imagine.
Tell them things will be OK.
Don’t speak to their logical brain when their emotional brain is crying out for a little empathy and human engagement.
In “The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others,” Tali Sharot wrote, “One of the strongest ways we impact each other is via emotion. Sharing ideas usually takes time and cognitive effort. Sharing feelings, however, happens instantly and easily.”
There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’ve got a plane to catch.
Happy retailing!
Editors' Picks
Sponsored by
More on Columnists
The Latest
CrimeMar 11, 2025
Man in Florida Swallows Allegedly Stolen Tiffany & Co. Jewelry The suspect allegedly stole almost $800,000 worth of diamond jewelry from a store in Orlando and then swallowed it during a traffic stop.
CollectionsMar 11, 2025
Marco Bicego Celebrates 25 Years With Collection, CampaignFounded in 2000, Marco Bicego is commemorating its milestone anniversary with a “25 Best” collection and campaigns honoring its heritage.
TechnologyMar 11, 2025
Hill & Co. Launches New B2B Buyer DatabaseThose attending the company’s upcoming Zoom workshop will receive early access to “The List,” its new resource for finding buyers.
Brought to you by
Watch: GIA Field Gemology at the One-Hundredth Expedition: A Look Back and to the FutureSupplier Spotlight Sponsored by GIA
Events & AwardsMar 11, 2025
JSA to Honor GIA Employee at Annual LuncheonThe organization will present an award to Amy-Elise Signeavsky, law enforcement and diamond recovery manager at GIA.
Weekly QuizMar 06, 2025
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
MajorsMar 10, 2025
Terry Chandler to Retire After 24 Years as Head of DCA Chandler started his jewelry career at Michelson Jewelers, joining the Diamond Council of America as president and CEO in 2001.
CollectionsMar 10, 2025
MaeVona Co-Founder Debuts 3D-Printed ‘Tùsaire’ CollectionScottish American designer Maeve Gillies collaborated with Platinum Guild International on jewelry created by direct metal 3D printing.
Brought to you by
Natural Diamonds Should Mean MoreNatural diamonds mean more than lab-grown, but when every cut is ideal, they all look the same. Customers want more—Facets of Fire delivers.
Events & AwardsMar 10, 2025
The Jewelry Symposium Announces 2025 Scholarship WinnersAhead of its trade show in May, TJS awarded free registration and accommodations to five up-and-coming jewelry industry professionals.
Events & AwardsMar 10, 2025
These Designers, Journalists, and Retailers Are Up for a Gem Award The 2025 Gem Awards are set to take place Friday at Cipriani 42nd Street in New York City.
MajorsMar 07, 2025
Jane Fonda, Mariska Hargitay Star in Pomellato’s IWD CampaignThe annual star-studded campaign for International Women’s Day encourages collective action against domestic violence.
CollectionsMar 07, 2025
Piece of the Week: Yeprem’s ‘Golden Strada’ NecklaceThe statement piece is seen in Yeprem’s new “You Play the Game” campaign, created for International Women’s Day.
MajorsMar 07, 2025
Borsheims Names New Senior Security and Facilities ManagerLongtime employee Kyle Slosson has been promoted to the role.
IndependentsMar 06, 2025
Wixon Jewelers to Close After 37 YearsFirst-generation jewelers Dan and Hope Wixon are retiring and will close their Minneapolis-area jewelry store in May.
CollectionsMar 06, 2025
Guzema, 3.1 Phillip Lim Collab on New ‘Snake’ DesignsThe limited-edition collection, a nod to the Year of the Snake, is Ukrainian brand Guzema’s first partnership with a U.S. brand.
IndependentsMar 06, 2025
Stephen Barnes Is the New Owner of IJOAfter more than 50 years, Jeff Roberts is handing over ownership of the organization to IJO President Stephen Barnes.
Events & AwardsMar 06, 2025
Borsheims’ ‘Ike-It’ Award Goes to JewelerSenior Jeweler Jay Wolff was named employee of the year.
MajorsMar 05, 2025
Neiman Marcus’ Dallas Flagship Store to Close, Confirms Saks GlobalThe 111-year-old store will close following a dispute among Saks Global, a landlord, and the City of Dallas over a small piece of land.
AuctionsMar 05, 2025
Sotheby's To Auction 51 ‘Alien’ WatchesThe upcoming “Area_51” watch sale is a collaboration with heist-out, featuring vintage and modern timepieces with futuristic designs.
MajorsMar 05, 2025
Jewelers of America Unveils 3-Year Strategic Plan The trade organization, which will mark 120 years of service next year, has a refined focus and a new mission statement.
Events & AwardsMar 05, 2025
92NY Accepting 2025 Jewelry Artist Residency ApplicationsThe application period is now open for established and emerging jewelers and metalsmiths to apply to the month-long residency program.
CrimeMar 04, 2025
4 Suspects Arrested in Fatal Armed Robbery of California Jewelry Store Uc Thí Vo, who co-owned Kim Tin Jewelry in Sacramento with her husband of 40 years, was killed during the November 2024 robbery.
CrimeMar 04, 2025
NYC Diamond Dealer Pleads Guilty to Lab-Grown Diamond SwapsManashe Sezanayev pleaded guilty to grand larceny and is expected to receive five years’ probation when he’s sentenced in May.
TrendsMar 04, 2025
Amanda’s Style File: Peaceful and Powerful AquamarineThe March birthstone pairs perfectly with hues of Mocha Mousse, Pantone’s Color of the Year for 2025.
EditorsMar 03, 2025
Drop Necklaces, Archival Pieces Take Over at the 2025 OscarsFrom Doja Cat to Mikey Madison and Selena Gomez, many of this year’s Academy Awards attendees donned drop necklaces.
Policies & IssuesMar 03, 2025
Customs Indefinitely Postpones Requirement to Disclose Country of MiningOriginally slated to take effect in April, official U.S. Customs and Border Protection documents now show the implementation date as “TBD.”
SurveysMar 03, 2025
Consumer Confidence Fell in February Amid Concerns About the FutureThe recent jump in the prices of household staples, like eggs, and the potential impact of tariffs worried consumers.
