ColumnistsOct 22, 2024
The Smart Lab: Tips for Preparing for Your Best Q4 YetColumnistsOct 31, 2024
Peter Smith: Nervous Flyers and Emotional Selling
Whether you’re calming the jittery gentleman in seat 13B or selling a diamond ring to a hesitant customer, an empathetic approach is best.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
I spend a good deal of time sitting in airports and on planes.
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
Related stories will be right here …
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
We all too often behave as if more facts, more information, and more rationalizations inspire consumer behavior.
We are quick to summon information we think is interesting without considering what matters most to our customers.
The cherry on top of our cognition overload is a disservice to both the business and to the customer.
They didn’t come into the store for a geology lesson, or to hear about great deeds like building schools and hospitals in far-off places.
Those things are admirable, but they don’t inspire buying behavior. At best, they are after-the-fact rationalizations.
Customers buy based on emotion and are fundamentally disinclined to respond to abstractions and cognitions.
Even the sainted Mother Teresa claimed she would not have acted if she saw only the needy masses; she acted when she saw one hungry child.
We shouldn’t speak in abstractions. Instead, we must engage in a human way with the person right in front of us.
Don’t tell them what you think is interesting, ask them what matters most to them.
So, take that nervous flyer, look them in the eye, and pat their hand.
Tell them it’s not unusual to be nervous and that there are many more people like them than they could possibly imagine.
Tell them things will be OK.
Don’t speak to their logical brain when their emotional brain is crying out for a little empathy and human engagement.
In “The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others,” Tali Sharot wrote, “One of the strongest ways we impact each other is via emotion. Sharing ideas usually takes time and cognitive effort. Sharing feelings, however, happens instantly and easily.”
There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’ve got a plane to catch.
Happy retailing!
More on Columnists
The Latest
Policies & IssuesMay 29, 2025
Trade Court Declares Trump’s Tariffs InvalidThree federal judges ruled that Trump exceeded his authority in imposing sweeping tariffs, a ruling his administration already has appealed.
CollectionsMay 29, 2025
Britney Spears Files Trademark for New Jewelry LineThe pop icon is one step closer to launching her “B Tiny” jewelry collection, a collection she first began posting about last fall.
Supplier BulletinMay 29, 2025
Inoveo Platinum Grain, Exclusively Distributed by StullerSponsored by Stuller
Brought to you by
Clienteling Isn’t a Buzzword. It’s an Essential Business Model.More shoppers are walking out without buying. Here’s how smart jewelers can bring them back—and the tool they need to do it right.
SourcingMay 29, 2025
Grizzly Auctions 6,620-Carat EmeraldIt was featured in the miner’s latest sale, which brought in $24.8 million.
Weekly QuizMay 22, 2025
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
TechnologyMay 29, 2025
GemFind Launches AI Product Description SoftwareGemText AI uses artificial intelligence to generate tailored product titles, descriptions, and tags with jewelry-specific language.
MajorsMay 28, 2025
Graff Unveils New Las Vegas FlagshipThe 3,300-square foot location is the jeweler's largest store in North America.
Brought to you by
Las Vegas Antique Jewelry & Watch Show: Showcasing the Most Collectible Merchandise from Across the GlobeGain access to the most exclusive and coveted antique pieces from trusted dealers during Las Vegas Jewelry Week.
CrimeMay 28, 2025
8 Convicted in Kim Kardashian Jewelry Heist TrialAging and with myriad health issues, none will serve time for their roles in robbing the billionaire celebrity at gunpoint in 2016.
CollectionsMay 28, 2025
NY Liberty’s 2024 Championship Rings Honor Historic WinThe WNBA team received rings imbued with meaning, from leaf motifs and its Liberty torch to the number of diamonds used.
MajorsMay 28, 2025
Andrew Rickard Named JBT PresidentA longtime executive at RDI Diamonds, Rickard has served on the JBT board for the past five years.
MajorsMay 27, 2025
MJSA to Become Part of Jewelers of America The two organizations have signed an affiliation agreement that’s expected to be finalized in the coming weeks.
AuctionsMay 27, 2025
Al Capone’s Patek Philippe Pocket Watch Back Up for AuctionThe platinum and diamond watch is part of Sotheby’s upcoming Important Watches sale.
AuctionsMay 27, 2025
182-Carat Paraíba-Type Tourmaline Sells for $487K Recovered in Mozambique, “The Kat Florence Lumina” was part of Bonhams’ Hong Kong jewelry auction held last week.
TrendsMay 27, 2025
Amanda’s Style File: Candy-Colored GemstonesGet a taste of the delicious candy-like gemstones in this Amanda’s Style File.
CrimeMay 23, 2025
JSA Shares Holiday Weekend Security Tips Amid Spike in BurglariesJSA’s Scott Guginsky provided a list of nine security measures jewelers should observe while locking up for the long weekend.
CollectionsMay 23, 2025
Piece of the Week: Bliss Lau’s ‘Bright’ RingFrom Lau’s “Love of a Kind” series, the engagement ring was inspired by the moon and holds a different meaning depending on how it is worn.
GradingMay 23, 2025
GIA Updates Pearl Classification SystemThe lab has adjusted the scale it uses for nacre grading.
Supplier BulletinMay 22, 2025
How to Put Natural Diamonds Back in the SpotlightSponsored by GCAL by Sarine
CrimeMay 22, 2025
NY Jeweler Sentenced in Shoving Death of Colleague at IJO ShowDavid Walton will serve three years’ probation after an incident in a hotel bar led to the death of West Virginia jeweler David Ettinger.
FinancialsMay 22, 2025
Watches of Switzerland’s Full-Year U.S. Sales Climb 14% The retailer also provided an update on how the tariffs situation in the U.S. is affecting its business.
IndependentsMay 22, 2025
Adeler Jewelers Celebrates 50 YearsThe family-owned jeweler in Great Falls, Virginia, will be celebrating its golden jubilee with a year’s worth of events.
Events & AwardsMay 22, 2025
Jose Hess Design Awards Announce JudgesThe nonprofit elected five judges who will decide the winners of its design competition.
MajorsMay 22, 2025
MJSA Releases 2025-2026 Buyer’s GuideThis year’s edition includes articles on the favorite tools of notable designers, evaluating when to outsource production, and more.
CollectionsMay 21, 2025
Bulgari Highlights Its Colorful Past in Phenomenal ‘Polychroma’ CollectionThe jeweler’s high jewelry collection features extraordinary gemstones, like a 241.06-carat emerald and the world’s fourth-largest spinel.
MajorsMay 21, 2025
Beyoncé Dons Brilliant Earth Necklace During Cowboy Carter TourThe bolo tie necklace is inspired by “Queen Bey” and set with a nearly 15-carat black diamond.
SourcingMay 21, 2025
Gem Legacy Expands Advisory CouncilThe nonprofit focused on mining communities in East Africa has added three new members to its advisory council.
