ColumnistsOct 22, 2024
The Smart Lab: Tips for Preparing for Your Best Q4 YetColumnistsOct 31, 2024
Peter Smith: Nervous Flyers and Emotional Selling
Whether you’re calming the jittery gentleman in seat 13B or selling a diamond ring to a hesitant customer, an empathetic approach is best.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
I spend a good deal of time sitting in airports and on planes.
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
Related stories will be right here …
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
We all too often behave as if more facts, more information, and more rationalizations inspire consumer behavior.
We are quick to summon information we think is interesting without considering what matters most to our customers.
The cherry on top of our cognition overload is a disservice to both the business and to the customer.
They didn’t come into the store for a geology lesson, or to hear about great deeds like building schools and hospitals in far-off places.
Those things are admirable, but they don’t inspire buying behavior. At best, they are after-the-fact rationalizations.
Customers buy based on emotion and are fundamentally disinclined to respond to abstractions and cognitions.
Even the sainted Mother Teresa claimed she would not have acted if she saw only the needy masses; she acted when she saw one hungry child.
We shouldn’t speak in abstractions. Instead, we must engage in a human way with the person right in front of us.
Don’t tell them what you think is interesting, ask them what matters most to them.
So, take that nervous flyer, look them in the eye, and pat their hand.
Tell them it’s not unusual to be nervous and that there are many more people like them than they could possibly imagine.
Tell them things will be OK.
Don’t speak to their logical brain when their emotional brain is crying out for a little empathy and human engagement.
In “The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others,” Tali Sharot wrote, “One of the strongest ways we impact each other is via emotion. Sharing ideas usually takes time and cognitive effort. Sharing feelings, however, happens instantly and easily.”
There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’ve got a plane to catch.
Happy retailing!
More on Columnists
The Latest
CollectionsApr 08, 2026
Hearts On Fire Celebrates 30 Years By Asking a QuestionThe “What’s Your Signature?” campaign invites women to think about how they see themselves.
SourcingApr 08, 2026
Sale of 42-Carat Blue Diamond Gives Petra a Boost in Q3The big diamond’s sale added to the company’s revenue though the market remains “challenging” overall, particularly for smaller goods.
Events & AwardsApr 08, 2026
AGS Confluence Returns with AI, Sustainability SessionsRob Bates of The Jewelry Wire will also moderate a panel on the state of the jewelry industry during the virtual event.
Brought to you by
Protect Your Customers and Your BusinessYou deserve to know what you are selling–to protect your customers as well as your business and your reputation.
Events & AwardsApr 08, 2026
TJS to Honor 2 Longtime Former Stuller EmployeesThe Jewelry Symposium will honor two industry veterans with lifetime achievement awards at its upcoming May event.
Weekly QuizApr 02, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
TrendsApr 08, 2026
Amanda’s Style File: April’s Brilliant Birthstone With their durability, brilliance, and beauty, diamonds are the perfect stone for everyday birthstone jewelry.
MajorsApr 07, 2026
QVC Group’s Latest Filing Calls Its Future Into QuestionThe retailer failed to file its annual report on time and said it may issue a going concern warning.
Brought to you by
Is This You? Every Jeweler Has This Problem; We Have the Solution.Every jeweler faces the same challenge: helping customers protect what they love. Here’s the solution designed for today’s jewelry business.
GradingApr 07, 2026
GIA CFO David Tearle to Retire in June John Cowley, who has more than 30 years of experience, is succeeding Tearle as the lab’s chief financial officer.
CollectionsApr 07, 2026
Nerd Out Over Gemology Geek’s First Jewelry CollectionFounder Erica Silverglide has designed 35 colorful pieces set with fluorescing gemstones for the brand's first finished jewelry offering.
CollectionsApr 07, 2026
Ukrainian Jewelers Highlighted In New Book“Ukrainian Jewelry | Contemporary Jewelry and Art Jewelry from Ukraine” features 33 contemporary Ukrainian designers and studios.
CollectionsApr 06, 2026
Fope’s New Jewelry Debuts Are Golden“The Golden Now” campaign celebrates the here and now with the brand’s signature styles and a selection of its new pieces.
MajorsApr 06, 2026
Kecia Caffie, Corinne Bentzen No Longer With Signet JewelersSignet confirmed that Caffie, president of Zales and Banter, and Bentzen, who headed Blue Nile, have left the company.
CollectionsApr 06, 2026
Historian Tanzy Ward Pens Book on Black Victorians’ JewelryThe antique jewelry dealer talks about the importance of including Black Americans in jewelry history and preserving their stories.
SourcingApr 06, 2026
Gemfields Reports $51M Loss in 2025Both its mines faced challenges last year, from operational issues to disruptions in the market.
CollectionsApr 03, 2026
Taylor Swift’s ‘Elizabeth Taylor’ Video Puts Jewelry Front and CenterIconic pieces, like the Mike Todd Diamond Tiara, appear in the superstar’s new music video for her song inspired by the actress.
MajorsApr 03, 2026
Saks Global Says It Will Emerge From Bankruptcy This SummerThe luxury retailer, which went Chapter 11 in January, announced Thursday that it has secured $500 million in exit financing.
Events & AwardsApr 03, 2026
JCK Luxury, NouvelleBox Partner on New Designer BallroomThe NouvelleBox ballroom will feature independent jewelry designers, including Lene Vibe, Wyld Box Jewelry, and Kiaia Limited.
CollectionsApr 03, 2026
Buddha Mama Brings Its ‘Moon’ Locket To DallasThe one-of-a-kind locket, our Piece of the Week, opens to reveal three hidden images to keep close to your heart.
MajorsApr 02, 2026
Pandora Opens New Canadian Distribution Center Amid Tariff ConcernsThe new facility was also designed to better serve its growing customer base in Canada.
TrendsApr 02, 2026
Michelle Yeoh Fronts New Mikimoto Campaign The campaign is a tribute to the year 1893, when Kokichi Mikimoto created the world’s first cultured pearl.
GradingApr 02, 2026
GIA Debuts New Campus in TaiwanIt is the only GIA school to offer the GIA Graduate Gemologist program in Chinese.
MajorsApr 02, 2026
DCA Launches ‘Second Spark’ Workforce InitiativeThe initiative connects veterans and parents returning to the workforce with careers in jewelry retail.
MajorsApr 02, 2026
Hoover & Strong Names New National Sales RepresentativeThe wholesale manufacturer and precious metals refiner has appointed Michael Angelo as its new national sales representative.
MajorsApr 01, 2026
Foundrae Sues Pandora for Allegedly Copying Its Medallion DesignsFoundrae also accused the jewelry giant of copying its mood board style of marketing.
AuctionsApr 01, 2026
John Jacob Astor IV’s Titanic Pocket Watch Heads to AuctionA Patek Philippe for Tiffany & Co. timepiece owned by the American businessman who died on the Titanic will be offered at Freeman's Chicago.
SurveysApr 01, 2026
Consumers’ Outlook Improves Again in MarchThe Conference Board’s Consumer Confidence Index edged up, with optimism about the present outweighing worries about the future.
