Peter Smith: Nervous Flyers and Emotional Selling
Whether you’re calming the jittery gentleman in seat 13B or selling a diamond ring to a hesitant customer, an empathetic approach is best.

It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
We all too often behave as if more facts, more information, and more rationalizations inspire consumer behavior.
We are quick to summon information we think is interesting without considering what matters most to our customers.
The cherry on top of our cognition overload is a disservice to both the business and to the customer.
They didn’t come into the store for a geology lesson, or to hear about great deeds like building schools and hospitals in far-off places.
Those things are admirable, but they don’t inspire buying behavior. At best, they are after-the-fact rationalizations.
Customers buy based on emotion and are fundamentally disinclined to respond to abstractions and cognitions.
Even the sainted Mother Teresa claimed she would not have acted if she saw only the needy masses; she acted when she saw one hungry child.
We shouldn’t speak in abstractions. Instead, we must engage in a human way with the person right in front of us.
Don’t tell them what you think is interesting, ask them what matters most to them.
So, take that nervous flyer, look them in the eye, and pat their hand.
Tell them it’s not unusual to be nervous and that there are many more people like them than they could possibly imagine.
Tell them things will be OK.
Don’t speak to their logical brain when their emotional brain is crying out for a little empathy and human engagement.
In “The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others,” Tali Sharot wrote, “One of the strongest ways we impact each other is via emotion. Sharing ideas usually takes time and cognitive effort. Sharing feelings, however, happens instantly and easily.”
There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’ve got a plane to catch.
Happy retailing!
The Latest

From retailers to designers and the media, the fine jewelry industry recognized one another’s work and looked to the future.

Eleanor H. Yeh is the recipient of the eighth annual Gianmaria Buccellati Foundation Award for Excellence in Jewelry Design.

Joseph Cavalcante takes on the dual role as the Spanish jewelry brand looks to expand further into the U.S. market.

Supplier Spotlight Sponsored by GIA

The trade show has also upgraded its venue to the Caesars Forum Conference Center.


The Dayton-based jeweler, which has been in business since 1985, was formerly known as Stafford Jewelers.

Reeds Jewelers CEO Alan Zimmer will be presented with the honor at JVC’s annual luncheon.

Natural diamonds mean more than lab-grown, but when every cut is ideal, they all look the same. Customers want more—Facets of Fire delivers.

The piece, celebrating birthdays from March 21 to April 19, debuted with Sorellina’s new line of astrological pendants.

The Indian jewelry brand recently opened stores in Atlanta and Seattle.

CEO Beth Gerstein shared its most popular price points, what’s trending in non-bridal fine jewelry, and its holiday performance.

The 15 pieces were crafted from the “Insofu” emerald, discovered in Zambia in 2010.

Chris Anderson is joining the insurance provider as the new chief financial officer and treasurer.

Jewelers of America is distributing a brochure for retailers to use when discussing the differences between natural and lab-grown diamonds.

The industry is changing as it grapples with new realities around distribution, supply, and the need for consistent, effective marketing.

Bhansali discusses the potential impact of U.S. tariffs, demand for diamonds by market, and the “cautious confidence” in India right now.

As lab-grown diamond brands pop up across India, academics are researching how to grow demand outside of the jewelry industry.

Govind Dholakia and Tanishq will be recognized for their contributions to the industry at the Diamonds Do Good Awards in Las Vegas.

The New York City-based brand has opened its first U.K. location with a permanent shop-in-shop at Liberty in London.

A metal detectorist discovered the ring that is believed to have belonged to a bishop in the late 12th to early 13th century.

Organizers looked to new partnerships and interactive experiences to enhance the spring show, set for March 16 to 18.

Kenewendo, Botswana’s minister of minerals and energy, will discuss the future of diamonds.

The suspect allegedly stole almost $800,000 worth of diamond jewelry from a store in Orlando and then swallowed it during a traffic stop.

Founded in 2000, Marco Bicego is commemorating its milestone anniversary with a “25 Best” collection and campaigns honoring its heritage.

Those attending the company’s upcoming Zoom workshop will receive early access to “The List,” its new resource for finding buyers.

The organization will present an award to Amy-Elise Signeavsky, law enforcement and diamond recovery manager at GIA.

Chandler started his jewelry career at Michelson Jewelers, joining the Diamond Council of America as president and CEO in 2001.