ColumnistsOct 22, 2024
The Smart Lab: Tips for Preparing for Your Best Q4 YetColumnistsOct 31, 2024
Peter Smith: Nervous Flyers and Emotional Selling
Whether you’re calming the jittery gentleman in seat 13B or selling a diamond ring to a hesitant customer, an empathetic approach is best.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
I spend a good deal of time sitting in airports and on planes.
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
Related stories will be right here …
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
We all too often behave as if more facts, more information, and more rationalizations inspire consumer behavior.
We are quick to summon information we think is interesting without considering what matters most to our customers.
The cherry on top of our cognition overload is a disservice to both the business and to the customer.
They didn’t come into the store for a geology lesson, or to hear about great deeds like building schools and hospitals in far-off places.
Those things are admirable, but they don’t inspire buying behavior. At best, they are after-the-fact rationalizations.
Customers buy based on emotion and are fundamentally disinclined to respond to abstractions and cognitions.
Even the sainted Mother Teresa claimed she would not have acted if she saw only the needy masses; she acted when she saw one hungry child.
We shouldn’t speak in abstractions. Instead, we must engage in a human way with the person right in front of us.
Don’t tell them what you think is interesting, ask them what matters most to them.
So, take that nervous flyer, look them in the eye, and pat their hand.
Tell them it’s not unusual to be nervous and that there are many more people like them than they could possibly imagine.
Tell them things will be OK.
Don’t speak to their logical brain when their emotional brain is crying out for a little empathy and human engagement.
In “The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others,” Tali Sharot wrote, “One of the strongest ways we impact each other is via emotion. Sharing ideas usually takes time and cognitive effort. Sharing feelings, however, happens instantly and easily.”
There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’ve got a plane to catch.
Happy retailing!
More on Columnists
The Latest
IndependentsJan 13, 2026
Orr’s Jewelers Opens New Location in Pittsburgh’s Strip DistrictThe family-owned jeweler’s new space is in a former wholesale produce market.
CrimeJan 13, 2026
Alleged Getaway Driver Charged in Florida Jewelry Store RobberyIvel Sanchez Rivera, 52, has been arrested and charged in connection with the armed robbery of Tio Jewelers in Cape Coral, Florida.
SourcingJan 13, 2026
Rio Grande To Offer Calibrated Diamond MeleeThe supplier’s online program allows customers to search and buy calibrated natural and lab-grown diamond melee, including in fancy shapes.
Brought to you by
How Jewelers Can Fight Back Against Cell JammersCriminals are using cell jammers to disable alarms, but new technology like JamAlert™ can stop them.
Events & AwardsJan 13, 2026
NYC Jewelry, Antique, & Object Show Announces Winter EventThe new show will take place Jan. 23-25, 2026.
Weekly QuizJan 08, 2026
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
EditorsJan 12, 2026
Platinum, White Gold Rule the 2026 Golden GlobesAssociate Editor Natalie Francisco highlights her favorite jewelry moments from the Golden Globes, and they are (mostly) white hot.
GradingJan 12, 2026
Peter Yantzer, Former Executive Director of AGS Labs, Dies at 77 Yantzer is remembered for the profound influence he had on diamond cut grading as well as his contagious smile and quick wit.
Brought to you by
Impacting Tomorrow TodayHow Jewelers of America’s 20 Under 40 are leading to ensure a brighter future for the jewelry industry.
MajorsJan 12, 2026
These 14 Macy’s Locations Will Close This YearThe store closures are part of the retailer’s “Bold New Chapter” turnaround plan.
MajorsJan 12, 2026
Jewelers Mutual Acquires AI-Powered Event Insurance ProgramThrough EventGuard, the company will offer event liability and cancellation insurance, including wedding coverage.
MajorsJan 09, 2026
Kendra Scott Taps Activewear Exec as CEO Chris Blakeslee has experience at Athleta and Alo Yoga. Kendra Scott will remain on board as executive chair and chief visionary officer.
SurveysJan 09, 2026
U.S. Holiday Retail Sales Up 4%, Visa, Mastercard SayThe credit card companies’ surveys examined where consumers shopped, what they bought, and what they valued this holiday season.
AuctionsJan 09, 2026
Christie’s Names New Global Managing Director for LuxuryKimberly Miller has been promoted to the role.
CollectionsJan 09, 2026
Piece of the Week: Lionheart’s ‘Serenity’ Opal CharmThe “Serenity” charm set with 13 opals is a modern amulet offering protection, guidance, and intention, the brand said.
CollectionsJan 08, 2026
Pandora’s New ‘Bridgerton’ Jewels Celebrate Bees, Bows, and Blooms“Bridgerton” actresses Hannah Dodd and Claudia Jessie star in the brand’s “Rules to Love By” campaign.
Events & AwardsJan 08, 2026
Ana Khouri To Receive 2026 Gem Award for High Jewelry ExcellenceFounded by jeweler and sculptor Ana Khouri, the brand is “expanding the boundaries of what high jewelry can be.”
TrendsJan 08, 2026
Stuller’s Color of the Year Is a Stark Contrast to Pantone’s WhiteThe jewelry manufacturer and supplier is going with a fiery shade it says symbolizes power and transformation.
CollectionsJan 08, 2026
Gracie Abrams To Front New Chanel Jewelry CampaignThe singer-songwriter will make her debut as the French luxury brand’s new ambassador in a campaign for its “Coco Crush” jewelry line.
MajorsJan 08, 2026
Diamond Council of America Names New Board DirectorsThe nonprofit’s new president and CEO, Annie Doresca, also began her role this month.
Events & AwardsJan 07, 2026
Melee Adds 13 New Designers to NYC ShowThe trade show is slated for Jan. 31-Feb. 2 at The Lighthouse in New York City's Chelsea neighborhood.
TrendsJan 07, 2026
Amanda’s Style File: Go for GarnetJanuary’s birthstone comes in a rainbow of colors, from the traditional red to orange, purple, and green.
SourcingJan 07, 2026
Diamonds Do Good Releases 2025 Impact ReportThe annual report highlights how it supported communities in areas where natural diamonds are mined, crafted, and sold.
CrimeJan 06, 2026
2 Jewelers Arrested After TraxNYC Diamond District BrawlFootage of a fight breaking out in the NYC Diamond District was viewed millions of times on Instagram and Facebook.
MajorsJan 06, 2026
Rio Grande Says These Are the Top Personalization Tools for 2026The supplier has a curated list of must-have tools for jewelers doing in-house custom work this year.
MajorsJan 06, 2026
Zales Tests Out A New LookThe Signet Jewelers-owned store, which turned 100 last year, calls its new concept stores “The Edit.”
MajorsJan 06, 2026
LeachGarner Appoints New Director of SalesLinda Coutu is rejoining the precious metals provider as its director of sales.
SourcingJan 06, 2026
AGA Announces 2026 BoardThe governing board welcomed two new members, Claire Scragg and Susan Eisen.
