ColumnistsOct 22, 2024
The Smart Lab: Tips for Preparing for Your Best Q4 YetColumnistsOct 31, 2024
Peter Smith: Nervous Flyers and Emotional Selling
Whether you’re calming the jittery gentleman in seat 13B or selling a diamond ring to a hesitant customer, an empathetic approach is best.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
I spend a good deal of time sitting in airports and on planes.
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
Related stories will be right here …
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
We all too often behave as if more facts, more information, and more rationalizations inspire consumer behavior.
We are quick to summon information we think is interesting without considering what matters most to our customers.
The cherry on top of our cognition overload is a disservice to both the business and to the customer.
They didn’t come into the store for a geology lesson, or to hear about great deeds like building schools and hospitals in far-off places.
Those things are admirable, but they don’t inspire buying behavior. At best, they are after-the-fact rationalizations.
Customers buy based on emotion and are fundamentally disinclined to respond to abstractions and cognitions.
Even the sainted Mother Teresa claimed she would not have acted if she saw only the needy masses; she acted when she saw one hungry child.
We shouldn’t speak in abstractions. Instead, we must engage in a human way with the person right in front of us.
Don’t tell them what you think is interesting, ask them what matters most to them.
So, take that nervous flyer, look them in the eye, and pat their hand.
Tell them it’s not unusual to be nervous and that there are many more people like them than they could possibly imagine.
Tell them things will be OK.
Don’t speak to their logical brain when their emotional brain is crying out for a little empathy and human engagement.
In “The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others,” Tali Sharot wrote, “One of the strongest ways we impact each other is via emotion. Sharing ideas usually takes time and cognitive effort. Sharing feelings, however, happens instantly and easily.”
There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’ve got a plane to catch.
Happy retailing!
More on Columnists
The Latest
CollectionsJun 30, 2025
State Property’s New Jewelry Tells ‘The Story of Everything’Co-founders Afzal Imram and Lin Ruiyin brought their son’s story of a cosmic egg, toadstool, and railroad to life in their new collection.
Events & AwardsJun 30, 2025
AGA Names Recipient of 2025 Gemological Education ScholarshipThis year’s winner is Morgan Keefe, who is currently studying at GIA to be a gemologist.
IndependentsJun 30, 2025
Melanie Grant’s New Book Explores 200 Years of Jewelry“The Jewelry Book” comes out this September.
Brought to you by
Investing in the Next Generation of Bench JewelersThe Seymour & Evelyn Holtzman Bench Scholarship from Jewelers of America returns for a second year.
TechnologyJun 27, 2025
Gemist Raises $6M in Funding to Scale Jewelry Tech PlatformThe company is focused on modernizing the custom jewelry buying experience with e-commerce tools like product visualization and 3D styling.
Weekly QuizJun 26, 2025
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
IndependentsJun 27, 2025
David Webb Announces New Hires, PromotionsFollowing its recent acquisition, the storied brand has updated its leadership team and regional managers.
Events & AwardsJun 27, 2025
AGS, GIA Announce Beatrice Shipley Scholarship Winner AGS also named the recipient of its “Women in Leadership” scholarship.
Brought to you by
Jewelers of America is Headed to Las Vegas for JCK 2025The countdown is on for the JCK Las Vegas Show and JA is pulling out all the stops.
CollectionsJun 27, 2025
Piece of the Week: Buddha Mama’s ‘Monstera’ Wrap RingThe 20-karat yellow gold and diamond wrap ring is modeled after the Monstera plants in the garden of the brand’s Miami villa.
MajorsJun 26, 2025
Why Rocksbox Is Opening Stores As Signet Jewelers DownsizesRocksbox President Allison Vigil shared the retailer’s expansion plans, and her thoughts on opening stores in malls.
IndependentsJun 26, 2025
Penny Ruston Dies at 80 The creator of the WJA Chicago chapter is remembered as a champion for women in the jewelry industry and a loving grandmother.
SurveysJun 26, 2025
After Recovering in May, Consumer Confidence Dips in June The decline was consistent across age groups and almost all income groups, with tariffs and inflation still top of mind.
CollectionsJun 26, 2025
Jam Out With Sorellina’s Jimi Hendrix-Inspired JewelsThe “Playlist: Electric Dreams” collection brings lyrics from the musician’s song, “Little Wing,” to life through fine jewelry.
Events & AwardsJun 26, 2025
The Jewelry Symposium Is Looking for Speakers for 2026 EventThe event is set for May 16-19 in Detroit, Michigan.
IndependentsJun 25, 2025
Marissa Collections Opens in Nantucket as Legal Fight ContinuesThe Vault’s Katherine Jetter is accusing the retailer of using info she shared for a potential partnership to move into Nantucket.
CrimeJun 25, 2025
Customs Nabs Another Big Shipment of Fake Cartier, Van Cleef JewelryAgents seized 2,193 pieces, a mix of counterfeit Cartier “Love” and “Juste Un Clou” bracelets, and Van Cleef & Arpels’ “Alhambra” design.
CollectionsJun 25, 2025
Splash into Karina Choudhrie’s Collection of Underwater Circus PerformersThe designer brought her children’s book, “The Big Splash Circus,” to life through a collection of playful fine jewelry characters.
Events & AwardsJun 25, 2025
JA Announces Impact Initiative Fund RecipientsThe trade association has chosen the recipients of the funding initiative it formed to foster the growth and sustainability of the industry.
SourcingJun 25, 2025
2025 AGTA Spectrum Awards Open for EntriesThe organization has also announced this year’s slate of judges.
EditorsJun 24, 2025
The Best New Jewelry from Couture 2025, Part 2Associate Editor Natalie Francisco shares 20 additional pieces that stood out to her at the Couture show.
IndependentsJun 24, 2025
Colorado Bench Jeweler Celebrates 50 Years With Local RetailerLori Tucker started at Williams Jewelers when she was 18 years old.
WatchesJun 24, 2025
Citizen’s New ‘Fantastic Four’ Watch Is Literally Super The “Marvel | Citizen Zenshin” watch is crafted in Super Titanium and has subtle nods to all four “Fantastic Four” superheroes on the dial.
MajorsJun 24, 2025
Tacori, QVC to Launch Exclusive Lab-Grown Diamond Jewelry CollectionThe “XO Tacori” collection was designed to blend luxury and accessible pricing.
GradingJun 23, 2025
GIA Names New President and CEO Pritesh Patel, the lab’s chief operating officer, will take over as president and CEO of GIA.
Recorded WebinarsJun 23, 2025
Watch: Top Trends at Couture, JCK Las Vegas 2025National Jeweler and Jewelers of America discuss the standout jewelry trends and biggest news to emerge from the shows this year.
SourcingJun 23, 2025
Diamond Producers, Organizations to Kick in Money to Promote Natural DiamondsSignatories to the “Luanda Accord” committed to allocating 1 percent of annual diamond revenue to the Natural Diamond Council.
Events & AwardsJun 23, 2025
Jose Hess Design Awards Celebrate 6 Jewelry DesignersThe winning designs captured the “Radiance” theme.
