ColumnistsOct 22, 2024
The Smart Lab: Tips for Preparing for Your Best Q4 YetColumnistsOct 31, 2024
Peter Smith: Nervous Flyers and Emotional Selling
Whether you’re calming the jittery gentleman in seat 13B or selling a diamond ring to a hesitant customer, an empathetic approach is best.
Peter Smith is an industry consultant, speaker, sales trainer, and author. He can be reached via email at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.
I spend a good deal of time sitting in airports and on planes.
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
Related stories will be right here …
It’s a necessary evil, but also something I’ve long since reconciled with, and occasionally even enjoy.
It wasn’t always this way.
Growing up in Dublin, we frequently visited family members in London for, as we called it, “our holidays.”
That 45-minute flight was hell personified for me. We flew low enough that turbulence always seemed to be an unwanted companion.
I’ve long since gotten over my flying jitters, and I mostly see the airport and flights as found time to read or write.
However, not everyone who flies enjoys this same level of comfort. There are people who are terrified at the prospect of flying and who still muster the courage to sit petrified on planes for personal or professional reasons.
The nervous flyer is an interesting metaphor for the way we sometimes conduct our affairs in the jewelry business.
Tasked with consoling a nervous flyer, we might spew a litany of facts and cognitive assurances that, while true, do absolutely nothing to assuage their nervousness, or to make the flight any less traumatic.
We tell them there are 45,000 flights every day in the United States, 16 million flights a year. And of those millions of flights, only 300 or so crash.
We’d further add that most of those crashes involve smaller private planes, not commercial jets.
After suffering through our facts dump, the nervous flyer might be more inclined to take their bags and leave the airport altogether.
What happened? Didn’t the facts reassure them?
We all too often behave as if more facts, more information, and more rationalizations inspire consumer behavior.
We are quick to summon information we think is interesting without considering what matters most to our customers.
The cherry on top of our cognition overload is a disservice to both the business and to the customer.
They didn’t come into the store for a geology lesson, or to hear about great deeds like building schools and hospitals in far-off places.
Those things are admirable, but they don’t inspire buying behavior. At best, they are after-the-fact rationalizations.
Customers buy based on emotion and are fundamentally disinclined to respond to abstractions and cognitions.
Even the sainted Mother Teresa claimed she would not have acted if she saw only the needy masses; she acted when she saw one hungry child.
We shouldn’t speak in abstractions. Instead, we must engage in a human way with the person right in front of us.
Don’t tell them what you think is interesting, ask them what matters most to them.
So, take that nervous flyer, look them in the eye, and pat their hand.
Tell them it’s not unusual to be nervous and that there are many more people like them than they could possibly imagine.
Tell them things will be OK.
Don’t speak to their logical brain when their emotional brain is crying out for a little empathy and human engagement.
In “The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others,” Tali Sharot wrote, “One of the strongest ways we impact each other is via emotion. Sharing ideas usually takes time and cognitive effort. Sharing feelings, however, happens instantly and easily.”
There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’ve got a plane to catch.
Happy retailing!
More on Columnists
The Latest
SourcingOct 08, 2025
In ‘Storied Diamond,’ Jared Jewelers Is Emphasizing the Journey The retailer’s new collection of engagement rings and fashion jewelry is set with natural diamonds that are traceable via blockchain.
CollectionsOct 08, 2025
Emily P. Wheeler Shifts Into Neutral for Latest ‘Ombré’ CollectionThe champagne colorway in her newest “Ombré” collection combines white and trendy brown diamonds, a departure from her usual vibrant hues.
CollectionsOct 08, 2025
Tsuba Designs Inspire Monica Rich Kosann’s New CharmsKosann partnered with the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, to create a set of necklaces inspired by the artwork on samurai sword handguards.
Brought to you by
JA New York Fall Is Right Around the CornerThe upcoming show provides savvy retailers with the opportunity to stock their cases with best sellers in advance of the holiday season.
CrimeOct 07, 2025
Men Who Posed as Utility Workers Found Guilty in Jeweler’s MurderCarlos Jose Hernandez and Joshua Zuazo face life in prison for the October 2024 murder of 72-year-old Detroit-area jeweler Hussein Murray.
Weekly QuizOct 02, 2025
This Week’s QuizTest your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
CollectionsOct 07, 2025
Jessica McCormack Looks to Sea Spirits for ‘Tempest’ CollectionThe brand’s first high jewelry collection, “Tempest” plays with movement while calling to mind the folklore of the sea.
SourcingOct 07, 2025
Columbia Gem House Announces ‘Opals for Outback Heroes’ FundraiserProceeds from its jewelry raffle will go to a volunteer-run fire and rescue group in the Lightning Ridge area of New South Wales, Australia.
MajorsOct 07, 2025
Stuller Names Its S.E.R.V.E Stars for 2025Stuller said the recipients embody the company’s core values, which include community participation and personal and professional growth.
WatchesOct 06, 2025
This Fall, Citizen’s Forecast Calls for RainCitizen’s new “Rainell” women’s watch has a raindrop-shaped case and is available with a silver-, gold-, purple-, or green-colored dial.
AuctionsOct 06, 2025
The ‘Rolex That Made Rolex’ Heads to Auction at Sotheby’s The “Mercedes Gleitze Rolex Oyster,” named for the British endurance swimmer who made it famous, will go up for sale next month.
GradingOct 06, 2025
GIA India Names Former De Beers Exec as New Managing DirectorAmit Pratihari was previously the managing director of De Beers India and Forevermark India.
SourcingOct 06, 2025
SoCal 24 Karat Club Integrates Into Diamond Club West CoastMembers of the Jewelers 24 Karat Club of Southern California will gain access to expanded services, resources, and connections, DCWC said.
TrendsOct 03, 2025
Selena Gomez, Benny Blanco Tie the Knot Wearing Diamonds, White MetalsGomez’s jewelry included Tiffany & Co. drop-style earrings while Blanco stacked diamonds from Jacob & Co. on his wrist.
GradingOct 03, 2025
Grading Lab HRD Antwerp Names New CEODiamond industry banking veteran Paul De Wachter will take on the role in January 2026.
TrendsOct 03, 2025
Piece of the Week: Kallati’s Pink Sapphire RingTaylor Swift flaunts an Elizabeth Taylor-esque gemstone in promo for her new album, “The Life of a Showgirl.”
CollectionsOct 02, 2025
Boucheron Debuts Cuffs Crafted With 3D-Printed SandIts “Quantre Sand” capsule was made using a 3D sand printing technique borrowed from the automotive and aeronautics industries.
CrimeOct 02, 2025
$1M in Jewelry Stolen in Northern California Smash and Grab Four individuals have been charged in the “takeover-style” robbery of Heller Jewelers last month, and additional charges are expected.
MajorsOct 02, 2025
Neil Lane Jewelry Exhibition Coming to Toledo Museum of Art“Radiance and Reverie” will showcase more than 150 jewels from Lane’s personal collection by Tiffany & Co., Cartier, and more.
TrendsOct 02, 2025
Amanda’s Style File: October’s Colorful ShowThe month’s birthstones, tourmaline and opal, complement the palette of autumn.
EditorsOct 01, 2025
Playing Favorites: The Best Jewelry From VicenzaoroAssociate Editor Natalie Francisco visited Italy to spot jewelry trends at the September Vicenzaoro show and share her top finds.
SurveysOct 01, 2025
Consumer Confidence Hits 5-Month Low in September Respondents were concerned about job availability and rising prices.
SourcingOct 01, 2025
Gemfields’ H1 Revenue Falls 47%Its latest interim financials revealed a challenging first half due in part to production troubles at its mines.
MajorsSep 30, 2025
Pandora CEO to Retire in 2026, Hand Reins to CMO Alexander Lacik has led Pandora since 2019. Berta de Pablos-Barbier will succeed him, the first woman to head the company.
CrimeSep 30, 2025
2 Suspects Charged in $300K Sleight-of-Hand Jewelry Store ScamTwo men allegedly used counterfeit bills to purchase luxury watches and jewelry from a North Carolina jeweler.
CollectionsSep 30, 2025
Billie Eilish, Finneas Partner with John HardyThe “Lovestruck” collection, designed with the Academy and Grammy award-winning siblings, is the brand’s first lab-grown diamond offering.
IndependentsSep 30, 2025
Spinelli Kilcollin Announces Residency in DallasThe brand, celebrating its 15th anniversary, has popped up at Market, a luxury fashion destination in Highland Park Village.
