Independents

Squirrel Spotting: The Necessity of Open-Ended Questions

IndependentsNov 21, 2016

Squirrel Spotting: The Necessity of Open-Ended Questions

Peter Smith discusses the possibilities that come with asking customers to talk about the person for whom they are buying.

2016-Peter_Smith_copy.jpg
Peter Smith has more than 30 years of experience building wholesale and retail sales teams. He currently is president of Vibhor Gems.

I’ve been busy these past few weeks conducting Vibhor launch trainings at various stores around the country.

In rolling out our private label program to retailers, I try to accomplish two important and complimentary ends. First, I want to convey those things that make our program relevant and exciting to retailers and to their customers. In the second instance, I try to convey some basic but essential sales principles that are, unfortunately, more often discussed than they are practiced.

One of those sales disciplines that I speak to is the necessity for salespeople to ask open-ended questions. The concept is not new. In fact, I remember there being a lot of chatter about that back in the 1980’s and, I am quite certain, some of you may go back even further in remembering when you first heard the term.

Having said that, it is, quite frankly, remarkable how rarely we as consumers are exposed to quality open-ended questions and, if we are being perfectly honest, how infrequently the art form is used in retail stores.

In the course of the training, one of the questions I suggest is, “Can you tell me about the person you are buying for?” The question itself appears to be rather innocuous and is not likely to set any pulses racing with its creativity or originality. If you peel back the layers of that question, however, you just might see it as a uniquely profound and potentially rich asset in the narrative of engaged retail salespeople.

There are two different psychological components at work in asking the question. The first is the empathic engagement that is communicated when you invite a person to tell you about someone who is important to them. The neurological effects of the question, delivered with warmth and sincerity, releases oxytocin in the brain, and that can serve as a great platform to make an emotional connection and begin to build a relationship. It’s as if you are saying, “I really want to know what matters to you.”

In the book Status Anxiety, Alain de Botton wrote, “There is something at once sobering and absurd in the extent to which we are lifted by the attention of others and sunk by their disregard. Our mood may blacken because a colleague greets us distractedly or our telephone calls go unreturned.”

In the second instance, when you insert “...the person you are buying for,” it sets yet

another psychological principle in play, because what you are actually doing is priming the customer. You are unconsciously setting the table for them to engage with you not with a view to gathering information but with the intent to actually make a purchase. By using the word buying, you are tapping into the customer’s oftentimes latent desire to actually buy something, even as he or she may consciously believe they came in to kick a few tires.

A retail store is a mini-stage and it provides great moments of drama every single day. You are presented with opportunities to make a difference--for your customers, your store and your career--every time a customer honors you by visiting your place of business. Approaching each and every one of those opportunities with the mindset that the customer has come in to actually make a purchase, and using deliberate and purposeful language in engaging those customers, can be game-changing.

As we enter into the most important few weeks of the year why not give it a try, and let me know how it works out for you.

Peter Smith, author of Hiring Squirrels: 12 Essential Interview Questions to Uncover Great Retail Sales Talent, has spent more than 30 years building sales teams at retail and at wholesale. He currently is president of Vibhor Gems. Email him at peter@vibhorgems.com, dublinsmith@yahoo.com or reach him on LinkedIn.
Peter Smithis an industry consultant, speaker, and sales trainer, and author of 3 books on sales. Reach him at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.

The Latest

Diamond engagement rings by designer Lorraine West
TrendsFeb 25, 2026
Engagement Ring Trends 2026: What’s In, and Why

We asked a jewelry historian, designer, bridal director, and wedding expert what’s trending in engagement rings. Here’s what they said.

New Forevermark store in India
SourcingFeb 25, 2026
7 Trends That Could Define the Diamond Industry’s Future

Experts from India weigh in the politics, policies, and market dynamics for diamantaires to monitor in 2026 and beyond.

Brilliant Earth Beverly Hills showroom
EditorsFeb 25, 2026
Q&A: Brilliant Earth’s CEO on the New Beverly Hills Store

Beth Gerstein discusses the vibe of the new store, what customers want when fine jewelry shopping today, and the details of “Date Night.”

TopImageCrop.jpg
Brought to you by
Is This You? Every Jeweler Has This Problem; We Have the Solution.

Every jeweler faces the same challenge: helping customers protect what they love. Here’s the solution designed for today’s jewelry business.

My Next Question podcast with Marion Fasel and Natalie Francisco
PodcastsFeb 25, 2026
Episode 2: Jewelry Trends & Does the Red Carpet Matter?

Are arm bands poised to make a comeback? Has red-carpet jewelry become boring? Find out on the second episode of the “My Next Question” podcast.

Weekly QuizFeb 19, 2026
This Week’s Quiz
Test your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Take the Quiz
Breitling Navitimer B19 Chronograph 43 Perpetual Calendar
WatchesFeb 25, 2026
Private Equity Firms Write Down Value of Breitling, Report Says

The Swiss watchmaker is battling declining sales amid a rapid retail expansion, according to a Financial Times report.

Rahaminov Diamonds Matriarch Campaign
CollectionsFeb 25, 2026
Rahaminov Diamonds’ New Campaign Honors Its Matriarch

The campaign celebrates Giustina Pavanello Rahaminov, the co-founder’s wife and matriarch of the family-owned brand, for her 88th birthday.

dca-laptop.jpg
Brought to you by
DCA Enters a New Chapter in Jewelry Education

With refreshed branding, a new website, updated courses, and a pathway for growth, DCA is dedicated to supporting retail staff development.

Stock image of shipping containers
Policies & IssuesFeb 24, 2026
IEEPA Tariffs Terminated, New 10% Tariff Already Imposed

After the Supreme Court struck down the IEEPA tariffs, President Trump imposed a 10 percent tax on almost all imports via a different law.

Yafa Signed Jewels Van Cleef & Arpels Necklace and Earrings
IndependentsFeb 24, 2026
Yafa Signed Jewels to Open Store in Miami

The vintage signed jewelry retailer chose Miami due to growing client demand in the city and the greater Latin American region.

Jin Lee Chrono24
WatchesFeb 24, 2026
Chrono24 Names New VP, U.S. General Manager

Former Flight Club executive Jin Lee will bring his experience from the sneaker world to the pre-owned watch marketplace.

Eddie Sakamoto
SourcingFeb 23, 2026
Designer Eddie Sakamoto, a Humble Artist, Dies at 72

Sakamoto, who died in mid-January following a sudden illness, is remembered for his humility and his masterful, architectural designs.

NYCJAOS spring show 2026
Events & AwardsFeb 23, 2026
NYCJAOS Announces Four-Day Spring Show

The April event will feature a new VIP shopping day requiring a special ticket.

Dua Lipa Bulgari Brand Ambassador
TrendsFeb 23, 2026
Dua Lipa Is Bulgari’s New Ambassador

Bulgari chose the British-Albanian singer-songwriter for her powerful and enduring voice in contemporary culture, the jeweler said.

US Supreme Court building
Policies & IssuesFeb 20, 2026
Supreme Court Rules Against Most of President Trump’s Tariffs

In a 6-3 ruling, the court said the president exceeded his authority when imposing sweeping tariffs under IEEPA.

Headshot of National Jeweler columnist Peter Smith
ColumnistsFeb 20, 2026
Peter Smith: Happiness, Cavemen, and Jewelry Sales

Smith encourages salespeople to ask customers questions that elicit the release of oxytocin, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical.

Jewelers Vigilance Committee logo
MajorsFeb 20, 2026
Jewelers Vigilance Committee Names Julie Yoakum Board Chair

JVC also announced the election of five new board members.

Boucheron Faisceaux Brooch
CollectionsFeb 20, 2026
Boucheron’s ‘Faisceaux’ Brooch Heads to V&A Museum

The brooch, our Piece of the Week, shows the chromatic spectrum through a holographic coating on rock crystal.

Ann Weaver Bailey, also known as “Mama Ann”
IndependentsFeb 19, 2026
Bailey’s Fine Jewelry Co-Founder ‘Mama Ann’ Bailey Dies at 100

Raised in an orphanage, Bailey was 18 when she met her husband, Clyde. They opened their North Carolina jewelry store in 1948.

Material Good Boston Location Interior Rendering
IndependentsFeb 19, 2026
Material Good Opens Third Location

Material Good is celebrating its 10th anniversary as it opens its new store in the Back Bay neighborhood of Boston.

Original Miami Beach Antique Show sign
Events & AwardsFeb 19, 2026
The Original Miami Beach Antique Show Returns in March

The show will be held March 26-30 at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

Joanna Carson jewelry auction
AuctionsFeb 18, 2026
Joanna Carson’s Jewels Head to Auction

The estate of the model, philanthropist, and ex-wife of Johnny Carson has signed statement jewels up for sale at John Moran Auctioneers.

Select Jewelry Graziella Air
MajorsFeb 18, 2026
Select Jewelry Inks Agreement to Distribute Lightweight Gold Jewelry

It will lead distribution in North America for Graziella Braccialini's new gold pieces, which it said are 50 percent lighter.

Community for Ethical Jewelry Logo
Policies & IssuesFeb 18, 2026
Community for Ethical Jewelry Looks for Executive Director

The organization is seeking a new executive director to lead it into its next phase of strategic growth and industry influence.

DCA colored gemstone course on laptop
Events & AwardsFeb 18, 2026
DCA to Host Gemstone Selling Education Session at IJO Event

The nonprofit will present a live, two-hour introductory course on building confidence when selling colored gemstones.

Cece Jewellery Traveller’s Tale Ring
TrendsFeb 17, 2026
A Bit of Jewelry for the Year of the Horse

Western wear continues to trend in the Year of the Fire Horse and along with it, horse and horseshoe motifs in jewelry.

Anza gems
SourcingFeb 17, 2026
Colored Gemstone Experts Talk Tariffs, Trends in Tucson

Although the market is robust, tariffs and precious metal prices are impacting the industry, Stuart Robertson and Brecken Branstrator said.

×

This site uses cookies to give you the best online experience. By continuing to use & browse this site, we assume you agree to our Privacy Policy